Tag: love
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On the Men Who Make Women Louder, Not Quieter
The Benefits of a Healthy Dynamic Between Men & Women Because of my feminist writing, some people might assume that I hate men. I don’t. I love and respect men. I adore the dynamic between men and women when it is healthy- and that is why I get so offended when it is not. So… Read more
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When I see Myself Through His Eyes…
When I See Myself Through His Eyes… I always get less than I deserve. I am a thing, not a person. I am a side character. I exist for others, not myself. My value is in my appearance, yet somehow I am overworked. I am depleted. When I See Myself Through My Eyes… I am worthy… Read more
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He Called it Love
Why Did My Strength Make Me More Vulnerable? He called me a hard worker, he meant it as a compliment, but I have come to loathe this praise. It started as a virtue of mine, but has turned into a trap. I am exhausted and depleted. What has my hard work accomplished except to empty… Read more
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Book #48- Reflections on “The Five People You Meet in Heaven”
Book #48 The Five People You Meet in Heaven By Mitch Albom A Cynic Tries to Keep an Open Mind I have fallen out of love with spiritual books in the past few years. I find that books like that can be shiny and simplistic, and maybe even unintentionally harmful. They often praise virtue without… Read more
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Blooming & Wilting Under Another’s Gaze
When a Gaze Grows a Person Have you ever had someone look at you with stars in their eyes? Their face lights up. Both of you seem to expand to a place where every colour is brighter, every smell sweeter. You feel warm inside. Loved. This person could be your mother, father, partner, perhaps even… Read more
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What Shakespeare Understood About the Power & Peril of Imagination
What a Lunatic, Lover, and Poet Have in Common “The lunatic, the lover, and the poetAre of imagination all compact.”1 -Theseus, A Midsummer Night’s Dream This famous line from Shakespeare’s A Midsummer Night’s Dream means that lunatics, lovers, and poets are each entirely full of imagination. They don’t see the world as it objectively is, but rather… Read more
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Confused Affections
By all the vows that ever men have broke (In number more than ever women spoke), – Hermia, A Midsummer Night’s Dream A Man Teaches a Girl About Love I was a young teenager when a man forty years older told me: “You just have to tell a girl you love her a thousand times and then she will sleep with you. You don’t even have to mean it.” He was… Read more
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Book #42- Reflections on “A Midsummer Night’s Dream”
Book #42 A Midsummer Night’s Dream By William Shakespeare The Enduring Value of Words This year, I have devoted countless hours to exploring other people’s written words during my 52-Book Reading Challenge, while also giving space to my own through my blogging journey. This experience has renewed my appreciation for the power of language. There… Read more
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Book #37- Reflections on “By Chance Alone”
Book #37 By Chance Alone By Max Eisen One Book to Represent Them All I have now read my 37th book of my 52-Book Reading Challenge: By Chance Alone by Max Eisen. So far, this challenge has contained books of all different genres: fantasy, memoir, self-help, socio-political, and more. And two themes have come up again and again,… Read more
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Book #36- Reflections on “Milk and Honey”
Book #36 Milk and Honey By Rupi Kaur This poetry book addresses sensitive topics such as sexual abuse and emotional manipulation. It may not be for everyone. My intention with this blog post is to lift some of the burden and trauma off of those who have gone through this, and move the conversation toward… Read more
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An Anecdote About Social Trends
Changing Relationship Dynamics in Graduate Housing When I did my master’s degree in 2015, I lived in an international residence with 175 other graduate students. In theory, it should have been a wonderful experience. But it wasn’t. There were many strange and dark moments during my time there. A decade later, I was talking to… Read more
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Book #32- Reflections on “Raising Hare”
Book #32 Raising Hare By Chloe Dalton Wild Animals This is a charming story of a successful career woman who moves back into her parents’ house during the pandemic and begins to raise a baby hare that is found alone nearby. I found myself getting really attached to the hare’s journey. Her story reminded me… Read more
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The Authentic Path to Forgiveness
“Forgiveness isn’t something you can will yourself to do. It’s a state of mind that comes to you when it’s good and ready. Pressure to forgive puts an unfair burden on a process that can take a lifetime and may never be completed.” – Lindsay C. Gibson, Disentangling From Emotionally Immature People What Love, Trust, &… Read more
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Understanding Values: Why They Don’t Always Mean the Same Thing to Everyone
Comparing Your Values to Others In her book Disentangling From Emotionally Immature People, psychologist Lindsay C. Gibson suggests a simple yet eye-opening exercise: compare your values to that of the emotionally immature person in your life. Doing so might explain why the relationship feels strained or misaligned. I would like to do this, but in a… Read more
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Book #31- Reflections on “Disentangling from Emotionally Immature People”
Book #31 Disentangling from Emotionally Immature People By Lindsay C. Gibson, PsyD Disentangling Disentangling isn’t a clean break. It’s slow, deliberate work that often takes years. I have been thinking a lot about that word lately- disentangling– as I take small, steady steps toward healthier relationships and a life that feels like my own. Both the… Read more
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Feeling Helpless Toward Technology & Human Behavior
Feeling Helpless In the book The Girl Who Fell Beneath the Sea by Axie Oh, the protagonist laments about standing alone while having to “hold back the tide”. By saying this, she is referring to a few different things. In this mythological retelling, she sacrifices herself to the Sea God who has been ravishing her village. So… Read more
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Can Love & Trust Be Forced?
“You claim the gods should love and care for humans. I disagree. I don’t think love can be bought or earned or even prayed for. It must be freely given.” – Axie Oh, The Girl Who Fell Beneath the Sea Can Love Be Forced? Axie Oh put into words something that has humbled me in adulthood.… Read more
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Book #30- Reflections on “The Girl Who Fell Beneath the Sea”
Book #30 The Girl Who Fell Beneath the Sea By Axie Oh Fictional Stories Across Cultures & Time I really enjoy books on fiction and myth from different cultures. It tells you a lot about that culture: its values, symbols, history, tradition, and worldview. I have been thinking a lot lately about the stories that… Read more
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I Know You Better Than You Know Yourself
Do Others Know Me Best? During my year of self-improvement, I am reassessing the relationships in my life. In doing so, I have noticed a certain kind of person who says statements along the lines of: “I know you better than you know yourself”. I never really thought about how violating this phrase is. I… Read more
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Learning to Accept Myself: A Journey From Self-Rejection to Self-Compassion
I Rejected Myself First I think the reason this blog is so healthy for me is that it is allowing me to catch up to my own thoughts. I often grumble internally about being unappreciated at work or in my relationships, but the first person to reject my value was me. I was constantly holding… Read more
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Two Kinds of “Love”: Exploring Toxic vs. True Love
I think I just figured it out: the two kinds of “love” that I have experienced. Before, if a person told me they love me I sometimes wouldn’t feel it. I know they meant it but it was like their love would get lost in some maze on its way to my heart. I had… Read more
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Book #20- Reflections on “The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck”
Book #20 The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck By Mark Manson Good Recommendation, Ms. Funnily enough, this book was recommended to me by a very spiritual, church-loving senior citizen. That intrigued me. If the language wasn’t enough to scare her off, then maybe there is something to it. Even after getting just a… Read more
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Book #16- Reflections on “The Mountain Is You”
Book #16 The Mountain Is You By Brianna Wiest “When we self-sabotage, it is often because we have a negative association between achieving the goal we aspire to and being the kind of person who has or does that thing.” – Brianna Wiest, The Mountain Is You Hmmm okay, interesting. Let me think about this.… Read more
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Book #15- Reflections on “Maus”
Book #15 Maus By Art Spiegelman The Importance of Individual’s Stories I chose a different type of book this time because the last few have been pretty information-heavy. Give me a graphic novel. This book involves some pretty serious content though, and may not be for everyone. It is an illustrated novel that bounces back… Read more
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The Politics of Gift Giving
Unhappy Christmases I was reading the part of the book Hate Follow by Erin Quinn-Kong, where the fractured family is celebrating Christmas. I have had a lot of those types of Christmases in my life; where instead of eggnog there are eggshells, instead of cheer there is fear, and instead of angels there are devils.… Read more
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Conveniently Timed “Sorry’s”
This blog post will contain spoilers for the book There is No Ethan by Anna Akbari. Kindly stop reading now if you don’t want to know these details yet. The Manipulation of Power & Powerlessness Several women were catfished by a woman posing as a man on an online dating profile in the early 2010’s… Read more
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The Importance of Healthy Relationships
Learning to Interpret Bad Behavior I have now written several blog posts about the book There is No Ethan by Anna Akbari. It is a true story of catfishing. Although I have begun to read my next book for my 2025 Book Reading Challenge, my mind keeps coming back to this story. In my own… Read more
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Why is it Always a Health Crisis?
The Use of “Health Crises” in Scams In the book There is No Ethan by Anna Akbari, the author was communicating with “Ethan Schuman” via a dating site. Ethan had a health crisis around the time when the author began to question the authenticity of his life story. He was offended that she could be… Read more
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Why Do Smart People Get Scammed?
I read the book There is No Ethan by Anna Akbari and one thing that I noticed is how smart the author’s conversations were with the person who was catfishing her. Their conversations were elevated and funny. They both came off as highly educated, well-travelled, and sociable people. She did not seem like the type… Read more
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Recognizing Abuse Online is Hard
Naivete Comes Before Fear Creatures of all types have a bad habit of not recognizing new dangers. The first wild game to encounter early humans did not run away in fear. They were easy targets. Kids do not know how to recognize danger. They are easy targets. We don’t understand the risks of new technology… Read more