Unhappy Christmases
I was reading the part of the book Hate Follow by Erin Quinn-Kong, where the fractured family is celebrating Christmas.
I have had a lot of those types of Christmases in my life; where instead of eggnog there are eggshells, instead of cheer there is fear, and instead of angels there are devils. It isn’t fun.
I can’t remember the last time I looked forward to Christmas. It was probably around 20 years ago. The part of Christmas that I enjoyed the most while I was in school was the winter break. By that point in the semester, I was typically in need of some rest. But other than that, Christmas seemed to bring a lot of trouble.
Gifts Aren’t Inherently Good
My sister and I were talking recently about the complexities of people who dominantly show love through gift-giving. People like that can be hard to interpret. Their intentions can be concealed behind a shiny, wrapped gift.
An extreme example of this phenomenon is when perpetrators wish to harm children, they often give physical gifts in order to gain the child’s trust and affection. Children see gifts as something they understand. It is a good thing. But the exchange isn’t a pure one.
Another example would be an abusive spouse giving their partner some sort of gift that makes them look good. It shows off their generosity, makes them seem loving, and this can conceal less appealing parts of the relationship.
Receiving a physical gift is nice, but not if the rest of the context of the relationship is ignored. It can feel like a bandaid; a way to physically show someone how much you “love” them.
Gifts Gone Wrong
A person in my family overfeeds our young family dog to the point that no one else can give it treats. The vet has told us it can’t have any more. However, this person likes to feed it because then the dog enjoys spending time with him (i.e., sits beside him begging for treats). This person sees that as love on both ends. But we have had far too many warnings from the vet considering the dog is only a few years old. It should be young and healthy. Is this love?
Messy Bun Book Lover
(Originally posted on Apr. 19, 2025)
Read Hate Follow by Erin Quinn-Kong → https://amzn.to/4qt5sMv
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