Book #37
By Chance Alone
By Max Eisen
One Book to Represent Them All
I have now read my 37th book of my 52-Book Reading Challenge: By Chance Alone by Max Eisen. So far, this challenge has contained books of all different genres: fantasy, memoir, self-help, socio-political, and more. And two themes have come up again and again, even when I specifically try to vary my book choices. These are:
- The human need for genuine relationships
- The human need for genuine self-expression
Both of these are necessities for living a good life and each are vividly illustrated in By Chance Alone.
On the surface, these concepts might seem like nonessentials compared to necessities like food or water. However, I have come to realize that they are intrinsically related to our physical survival. I will use Eisen’s story as an example of this.
(The following paragraphs will contain spoilers for the book).
2 Essentials For Living a Good Life
1. Genuine Relationships
Eisen was 15 years old when he and his family were deported to Auschwitz concentration camp.
The night before the Eisen family was forced from their home, a family friend frantically told them they needed to leave immediately; but they did not heed his advice. The day of the deportation, another kindly neighbour offered to take Max’s baby sister and spare her the fate of the rest of the family. But the family refused as they did not know what awaited them.
Most of the Eisen family died upon their arrival at Auschwitz, but Max, his father, and uncle survived the initial selection.
Max relied heavily on these two figures as he learned to navigate camp life. He called them his guardian angels- always standing on either side of him. Yet one day, his father and uncle were suddenly taken away to be killed. Max was on his own in a foreboding environment.
This wasn’t just emotionally devastating, but physically as well. The three of them had shared food and kept each other safe. Now Max was vulnerable. He was devastated by this sense of isolation.
Yet, while reading the book, I was often struck by his social resourcefulness as well as the amount of people who helped him.
Max’s life was spared by a Polish political prisoner and doctor who gave him work. On the death march from Auschwitz, he worked with others to survive. When he was shuffled from camp to camp, he had to learn each new social system and integrate himself within it.
His life was again spared during forced labour in Melk, Austria- this time by a Russian blacksmith and prisoner of war who gave him a lighter job, as well as rest and a remedy when he was sick.
These relationships were not only key for survival but also acted as a spiritual balm. He didn’t feel so alone.
After the war, Jewish people were still ostracized. But Max received care and medical aid arranged by a family friend. He also received education and healing at an orphanage.
Even when Max was jailed for having false papers, he connected with his cellmates.
Finally, a network of people helped him to escape Europe and start a new life in Canada where he quickly met his wife and they had two sons.
It is staggering the amount of relationships he formed. Through these, he received food, medical treatment, friendship, information, rescue, love, safety, and community. These relationships often meant the difference between life and death.
Even in writing By Chance Alone, Eisen had a team of people who supported him when he was struggling to find information and get his words out.
Which leads to the second necessary concept:
2. Genuine Self-Expression
Eisen was forced to remain silent throughout the Holocaust. During all the losses and indignities, he was never allowed to express his emotion. Doing so would be too dangerous.
During their last meeting, his father told him he must tell the world what had occurred in Auschwitz. He needed to speak for everyone who had been lost there since their voices had died with them.
Eisen did eventually find his voice. But this articulation took decades.
There were many barriers to him telling his story:
- rehabilitating his frail body
- struggling to meet his basic needs
- living under communist rule in Czechoslovakia
- being jailed for having illegitimate papers
- escaping to a foreign country and learning a new language
- not yet knowing all the facts of his family members’ fates, and
- dealing with complex emotional and psychological scars
But after a long life, he was ready to confront his past. He worked as a Holocaust educator and published By Chance Alone in 2016- over 70 years after his liberation. In doing so, Eisen fulfilled his promise to his father.
Freedom & Support to Tell One’s Story Must Be a Fundamental Human Right
A person can experience incredible horrors; the human mind, body, and spirit can take a lot. But when a person is not able to openly discuss the truths of their life, a part of them dies. And harm can go on.
This does not mean that everyone must tell their story- just that everyone should be given the chance to do so.
So why are people so often silenced? Why are there so many barriers to people telling their story?
Eisen testified at the trials of two Nazi guards in 2015 and 2016- a lifetime after the crimes had been committed. It was long-overdue testimony. This freedom of expression helps ensure similar crimes will not be committed.
Everyday Examples of the Importance of Relationships & Self-Expression
Eisen’s story provides an extreme example of the importance of genuine relationships and genuine self-expression. But how do these apply to the modern world?
1. Genuine Relationships in the Modern World
Healthy relationships can give a person purpose, a sense of belonging, a helping hand, a safety net, and shared identity. They can also protect against depression and modern dangers like falling for romance scams or conspiracy theories. Relationships ground a person in reality and help them feel like a valuable member of the community.
The World Health Organization declared loneliness a “global public health concern”, which affects both mental and physical health1. It can be as detrimental as smoking 15 cigarettes a day2.
Increased loneliness has been caused in part by the recent COVID-19 pandemic, increased social media use, a decrease in real-world interactions, and decreased community ties partially due to increased mobility. People can feel helpless, insecure, and unfulfilled when they are alone.
2. Genuine Self-Expression in the Modern World
Genuine self-expression can be used for healing, for expressing love, for connecting with others, for holding others accountable, and finding oneself. It adds to a person’s identity and sense of autonomy. It also enriches society.
Societies, organizations, communities, and families are healthier when people are not silenced. Problems can be addressed more rapidly, and people of many different backgrounds can contribute their voices to enhance the overall narrative.
On a smaller scale, such as romantic relationships or even doctors visits, a person who is disempowered to speak up can have worse outcomes.
It isn’t a coincidence that abusers will both isolate and silence their victims; they intuitively recognize the supreme importance of genuine relationships and self-expression. The victim has much more power if they have both of these.
My Own Struggles
I struggled with both genuine relationships and self-expression in my life. I had toxic close relationships and was struggling to speak up for myself. The situation was not only uncomfortable, it was dangerous. Two of the reasons why I started this Book Reading Challenge were to find answers and to find my voice.
Eight months after starting this blog, my life isn’t quite healed- but it has come a long way. I am healthier than I was at the start of the year, I got a new job offer, and a healthy relationship. These are things I have been struggling with for a long time.
This blog has provided a channel for connection and self-expression. And the impacts have permeated all areas of my life. It wasn’t a silver bullet- in fact, it has been a lot of work. But being able to articulate my thoughts has given me confidence, self-assurance, and identity and these inner changes have begun to demonstrate themselves externally. I am incredibly grateful for that.
So, do you have healthy relationships and freedom of expression?
Messy Bun Book Lover
Sources:
1. Johnson, S. (2023, November 16). WHO declares loneliness a ‘global public health concern’. The Guardian. https://www.theguardian.com/global-development/2023/nov/16/who-declares-loneliness-a-global-public-health-concern
2. Office of the Surgeon General. (2023). Our Epidemic of Loneliness and Isolation: The U.S. Surgeon General’s Advisory on the Healing Effects of Social Connection and Community. U.S. Department of Health and Human Services. https://www.hhs.gov/sites/default/files/surgeon-general-social-connection-advisory.pdf
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