Tag: happiness
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You Are Allowed to Leave: 60+ Valid Relationship Deal Breakers
What are “Valid” Deal Breakers? Many people stay in unhealthy relationships because they are not sure if what happened was “bad enough” to justify leaving. And when these toxic behaviours are repeated, they become “normal”, which makes you even less likely to question them. So, I want to list some valid deal breakers. This isn’t… Read more
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The Angry Pink Horse on the Carousel
There’s an angry pink horse on the carousel. All the others seem content to go around and around. But not this one. Its skin is an unnatural shade of bubblegum pink, its eyes bulging with peeling black paint, and its head is cocked at a tense angle- as if it is trying to throw off… Read more
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This Reading Challenge Was a Strange Mix of Privilege and Desperation
Excess & Limitations Last year, I began my 52-Book Reading Challenge because I needed a change. If you have read some of my content, you can probably tell the types of things I was struggling with at the time: health issues, toxic relationships, and questioning lifelong unhealthy beliefs. That being said, the opportunity to read… Read more
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Going to a Concert Alone
Putting Myself Out There Last year, I went to a concert alone and it was one of the highlights of my year. It was a last-minute ticket for a somewhat fringe artist. So my friends either already had plans or simply don’t listen to that kind of music. I have been a fan of this… Read more
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Staying Quiet & Having Nothing to Say Are Two Different Things
Follow Your Voice I started 2025 very nervous to express myself. I believed I had nothing of value to say. So filling any sort of space with my thoughts felt daunting. But by the end of the year, I had written over 125,000 words across 150+ blog posts. It turns out I had a lot… Read more
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Death is the Only Boundary That They Won’t Cross
Innocent to Aware When I was young, I believed that every person on earth was a blessing. And then I grew up. My thoughts on this have been refined by time and trauma. I still believe that every person is born a blessing. But whether or not they stay one is based on their behaviour.… Read more
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5 Ways to Calm Down in 1 Minute or Less
Do you ever feel yourself getting wound up and out of control, unable to stop the feeling? For me, I start to grit my teeth, my breathing gets faster, my hands ball into fists, and I have trouble concentrating. In this state, life feels overwhelming and effort seems pointless. But I have learned 5 quick… Read more
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More Images to Help Regulate You
I’m learning to look for the beauty in the world- not only that, but intentionally cultivate and create it. There is so much to notice and make, once you get past all the noise. I want to lose myself, getting up close to pretty things; to examine them and question them; to philosophize with them… Read more
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Images to Help Regulate You
I used to think that being online was over-stimulating, but now I realize that not only can I find peace online, I can intentionally cultivate it. So instead of endlessly scrolling social media, I have been taking time to appreciate beauty- without metrics, comparison, or anxiety. Just pretty things to calm my mind and help… Read more
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I Had a Great Year, So Why Am I Sad?
When I look back on 2025, so many wonderful things happened. I met someone special, went on exciting adventures, began to express myself, and enjoyed other people expressing themselves too. I should feel great about it. But instead, I am trapped in a feeling of tension and misplacement- like I am not actually able to… Read more
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Causes of My Depression That Had Little to Do With My Brain
Is Depression Caused By a Malfunctioning Brain? Right off the bat, I want to stress that I am not a doctor, so this post is in no way intended to provide medical advice. What I am hoping to achieve is to normalize the topic of depression and humanize it with lived experience. Depression can make a person… Read more
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What Shakespeare Understood About the Power & Peril of Imagination
What a Lunatic, Lover, and Poet Have in Common “The lunatic, the lover, and the poetAre of imagination all compact.”1 -Theseus, A Midsummer Night’s Dream This famous line from Shakespeare’s A Midsummer Night’s Dream means that lunatics, lovers, and poets are each entirely full of imagination. They don’t see the world as it objectively is, but rather… Read more
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Confused Affections
By all the vows that ever men have broke (In number more than ever women spoke), – Hermia, A Midsummer Night’s Dream A Man Teaches a Girl About Love I was a young teenager when a man forty years older told me: “You just have to tell a girl you love her a thousand times and then she will sleep with you. You don’t even have to mean it.” He was… Read more
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Book #37- Reflections on “By Chance Alone”
Book #37 By Chance Alone By Max Eisen One Book to Represent Them All I have now read my 37th book of my 52-Book Reading Challenge: By Chance Alone by Max Eisen. So far, this challenge has contained books of all different genres: fantasy, memoir, self-help, socio-political, and more. And two themes have come up again and again,… Read more
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An Anecdote About Social Trends
Changing Relationship Dynamics in Graduate Housing When I did my master’s degree in 2015, I lived in an international residence with 175 other graduate students. In theory, it should have been a wonderful experience. But it wasn’t. There were many strange and dark moments during my time there. A decade later, I was talking to… Read more
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Understanding Values: Why They Don’t Always Mean the Same Thing to Everyone
Comparing Your Values to Others In her book Disentangling From Emotionally Immature People, psychologist Lindsay C. Gibson suggests a simple yet eye-opening exercise: compare your values to that of the emotionally immature person in your life. Doing so might explain why the relationship feels strained or misaligned. I would like to do this, but in a… Read more
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Book #31- Reflections on “Disentangling from Emotionally Immature People”
Book #31 Disentangling from Emotionally Immature People By Lindsay C. Gibson, PsyD Disentangling Disentangling isn’t a clean break. It’s slow, deliberate work that often takes years. I have been thinking a lot about that word lately- disentangling– as I take small, steady steps toward healthier relationships and a life that feels like my own. Both the… Read more
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The Hardest Part of Any Goal? The Middle
Midway Discouragement in a 52-Book Reading Challenge This year, I am reading 52 books and documenting how my life improves because of it. I have read 30/52 books so far, which means I am about 60% through this challenge. While this Reading Challenge has been an incredible success, I’ve been slipping into moments of discouragement… Read more
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Feeling Helpless Toward Technology & Human Behavior
Feeling Helpless In the book The Girl Who Fell Beneath the Sea by Axie Oh, the protagonist laments about standing alone while having to “hold back the tide”. By saying this, she is referring to a few different things. In this mythological retelling, she sacrifices herself to the Sea God who has been ravishing her village. So… Read more
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Can Love & Trust Be Forced?
“You claim the gods should love and care for humans. I disagree. I don’t think love can be bought or earned or even prayed for. It must be freely given.” – Axie Oh, The Girl Who Fell Beneath the Sea Can Love Be Forced? Axie Oh put into words something that has humbled me in adulthood.… Read more
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The Beauty Around Me: What I Noticed When I Finally Looked Up
Noticing the Beauty Around Me I am trying to be a happier person these days- more appreciative and less pessimistic. So I am intentionally putting effort into noticing the beauty of the world around me. A few days ago, I was at the park. I was by myself and laid down a blanket under the… Read more
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Book #28- Reflections on “Rest is Resistance”
Book #28 Rest is Resistance By Tricia Hersey When Life Forces You to Slow Down A recent stress-induced trip to the emergency room made me question my relationship with productivity, as did the previous book in my reading challenge. That is how I found Rest is Resistance by Tricia Hersey. My body was making it clear that… Read more
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Book #27- Reflections on “Meet Me in the Margins”
Book #27 Meet Me in the Margins By Melissa Ferguson A Seemingly Light Read- With Hidden Depths Books like this can seem uncomplicated; simplistic escapism in book form. It is probably a much healthier form of escapism compared to some other forms, though. I tend to relax as I listen to the inner thoughts of… Read more
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A Prescription of Chirping Birds
An Unexpected ER Visit A few nights ago, I had to take a little trip to the emergency room. I was vomiting profusely and in a lot of pain. The good news is that it wasn’t anything life threatening; only gastritis (an irritation of the stomach lining). While I was back home recovering, I fell… Read more
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I Know You Better Than You Know Yourself
Do Others Know Me Best? During my year of self-improvement, I am reassessing the relationships in my life. In doing so, I have noticed a certain kind of person who says statements along the lines of: “I know you better than you know yourself”. I never really thought about how violating this phrase is. I… Read more
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Book #23- Reflections on “The Highly Sensitive Person’s Guide to Dealing with Toxic People”
Book #23 The Highly Sensitive Person’s Guide to Dealing with Toxic People By Shahida Arabi, MA I can feel my blood pressure go down when I read books like this. It feels like a sane voice in my life. Toxic people thrive in toxic systems so there are often very few people to turn to… Read more
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Finding Balance: Reading, Reflection, and Self-Care
Learning to Celebrate My Wins and Appreciate Success I am just about halfway through my year-long challenge of reading 52 books. When reading so many books (and writing several blog posts about each), the pace needs to be quick. But I need to allow myself space for reflection as well. I know reading these books… Read more
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Book #22- Reflections on “Rejection Proof”
Book #22 Rejection Proof By Jia Jiang Second Guessing Yourself My social anxiety could never handle doing a rejection experiment like this. I thought briefly about doing some sort of rejection therapy as part of this Reading Challenge, but I know myself well enough. For now, I just have to live vicariously through Jiang who,… Read more
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Two Kinds of “Love”: Exploring Toxic vs. True Love
I think I just figured it out: the two kinds of “love” that I have experienced. Before, if a person told me they love me I sometimes wouldn’t feel it. I know they meant it but it was like their love would get lost in some maze on its way to my heart. I had… Read more
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9 Differences Between Toxic and Healthy Relationships
As many of you know by now, I have struggled with toxic relationships in the past. I had poor boundaries, which had been encouraged for my whole life. I was taught not to question things and just work hard. Now, I am moving toward healthier communities and the difference is striking. Healthy relationships have a… Read more