Follow Your Voice
I started 2025 very nervous to express myself. I believed I had nothing of value to say. So filling any sort of space with my thoughts felt daunting.
But by the end of the year, I had written over 125,000 words across 150+ blog posts. It turns out I had a lot to say. And I wasn’t slowing down.
The ideas and the desire to express myself just keep coming.
I find myself away from my laptop and a lightbulb moment will strike. And another thing! – the small figure in my head says, pointing their finger in the direction of my laptop, like a small compass leading me out of the woods.
And I obediently accept their direction.
Who Am I?
I have even caught myself signing some posts off with my actual name, not “Messy Bun Book Lover”.
I created that moniker because I wanted some distance between myself and her. She was brave and forthright, and I was nervous and quiet.
Writing under a different name helped me to channel a part of myself that existed all along, but that I had not understood or nurtured.
She was always a part of me. I wouldn’t be able to give her shape if she wasn’t. But she most certainly wasn’t the dominant part.
I think often when we are quiet we equate that with having nothing to say. That’s what I thought of myself a year ago.
But when given the space, safety, and prompt the words came pouring out.
So when we say someone is quiet, I think we should ask if they’ve been given the space to be loud. Because if they haven’t, then we have no idea how loud their voice can be.
Both the world and individual are more vibrant and alive when people are given this freedom.
Expression Over Repression
I have learned how much better I feel when I express myself honestly.
When I don’t, my thoughts create a traffic jam in my mind and- each thought feeling too crammed and unimportant, starts tussling with the other thoughts.
And I just sit there. Like a mother exhausted by a slew of quarrelling toddlers.
But pouring my thoughts onto the page gives them space and dignity. They don’t need to fight anymore, and I don’t need to contain them. They become energetically self-sufficient, no longer needing for me to act as their host. This way I can enjoy them, without needing to sustain them.
Just now, as I wrote “pouring my thoughts onto the page”, I accidentally initially wrote “pouring myself onto the page”. And I suppose that is even more accurate. That is what creativity and self-expression feel like: a bit of ourselves out in the world.
And perhaps this marrow can give life to someone else.
Messy Bun Book Lover