Category: relationships
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The Authentic Path to Forgiveness
“Forgiveness isn’t something you can will yourself to do. It’s a state of mind that comes to you when it’s good and ready. Pressure to forgive puts an unfair burden on a process that can take a lifetime and may never be completed.” – Lindsay C. Gibson, Disentangling From Emotionally Immature People What Love, Trust, &… Read more
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Understanding Values: Why They Don’t Always Mean the Same Thing to Everyone
Comparing Your Values to Others In her book Disentangling From Emotionally Immature People, psychologist Lindsay C. Gibson suggests a simple yet eye-opening exercise: compare your values to that of the emotionally immature person in your life. Doing so might explain why the relationship feels strained or misaligned. I would like to do this, but in a… Read more
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Book #31- Reflections on “Disentangling from Emotionally Immature People”
Book #31 Disentangling from Emotionally Immature People By Lindsay C. Gibson, PsyD Disentangling Disentangling isn’t a clean break. It’s slow, deliberate work that often takes years. I have been thinking a lot about that word lately- disentangling– as I take small, steady steps toward healthier relationships and a life that feels like my own. Both the… Read more
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Feeling Helpless Toward Technology & Human Behavior
Feeling Helpless In the book The Girl Who Fell Beneath the Sea by Axie Oh, the protagonist laments about standing alone while having to “hold back the tide”. By saying this, she is referring to a few different things. In this mythological retelling, she sacrifices herself to the Sea God who has been ravishing her village. So… Read more
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Can Love & Trust Be Forced?
“You claim the gods should love and care for humans. I disagree. I don’t think love can be bought or earned or even prayed for. It must be freely given.” – Axie Oh, The Girl Who Fell Beneath the Sea Can Love Be Forced? Axie Oh put into words something that has humbled me in adulthood.… Read more
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Book #29- Reflections on “Influencing Death”
Book #29 Influencing Death: Reframing Dying for Better Living By Penny Hawkins Smith, RN Reflections on Death My year-long journey of self-improvement centers around how to live a good life in the modern age- and the other side of life is death. I have already read The Top Five Regrets of the Dying by Bronnie Ware and… Read more
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I Know You Better Than You Know Yourself
Do Others Know Me Best? During my year of self-improvement, I am reassessing the relationships in my life. In doing so, I have noticed a certain kind of person who says statements along the lines of: “I know you better than you know yourself”. I never really thought about how violating this phrase is. I… Read more
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Who Has the Right to Tell a Story?
The Ethics of Telling Your Story Online I recently told my sister about my blog. She had been mildly curious over what I was doing each day when I went to the library to read or write blog posts; so I told her about it. It was a bit awkward since some of the things… Read more
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Book #23- Reflections on “The Highly Sensitive Person’s Guide to Dealing with Toxic People”
Book #23 The Highly Sensitive Person’s Guide to Dealing with Toxic People By Shahida Arabi, MA I can feel my blood pressure go down when I read books like this. It feels like a sane voice in my life. Toxic people thrive in toxic systems so there are often very few people to turn to… Read more
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Book #22- Reflections on “Rejection Proof”
Book #22 Rejection Proof By Jia Jiang Second Guessing Yourself My social anxiety could never handle doing a rejection experiment like this. I thought briefly about doing some sort of rejection therapy as part of this Reading Challenge, but I know myself well enough. For now, I just have to live vicariously through Jiang who,… Read more
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Book #21- Reflections on “UnBroken: The Trauma Response Is Never Wrong”
Book #21 Unbroken: The Trauma Response Is Never Wrong By MaryCatherine McDonald, PhD The Importance of Positive Mentors I lost a lot of my mentors over the past decade. Some of this came simply from life’s progression. I moved on from sports so I no longer have coaches. I finished my master’s and left my… Read more
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Two Kinds of “Love”: Exploring Toxic vs. True Love
I think I just figured it out: the two kinds of “love” that I have experienced. Before, if a person told me they love me I sometimes wouldn’t feel it. I know they meant it but it was like their love would get lost in some maze on its way to my heart. I had… Read more
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9 Differences Between Toxic and Healthy Relationships
As many of you know by now, I have struggled with toxic relationships in the past. I had poor boundaries, which had been encouraged for my whole life. I was taught not to question things and just work hard. Now, I am moving toward healthier communities and the difference is striking. Healthy relationships have a… Read more
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Book #20- Reflections on “The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck”
Book #20 The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck By Mark Manson Good Recommendation, Ms. Funnily enough, this book was recommended to me by a very spiritual, church-loving senior citizen. That intrigued me. If the language wasn’t enough to scare her off, then maybe there is something to it. Even after getting just a… Read more
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Book #19- Reflections on “I Was Told It Would Get Easier”
Book #19 I Was Told It Would Get Easier By Abbi Waxman The Problem With Measuring People With Metrics Books with cartoon covers always throw me off. I expect them to be simple and childish and they will sometimes be deeply thoughtful. This book follows a fictional mother and daughter as they tour college campuses… Read more
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Book #18- Reflections on “Field Study”
Book #18 Field Study By Helen Humphreys The Calming Effect of Nature and Books This book is simple and profound. I felt as though the author and I briefly met (at least through her written word) before each going on our individual year-long journeys. There was a certain parallelism to the way we spent our… Read more
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Why Emotional Awareness Matters in Today’s World
Society Doesn’t Pause for Trauma We never seem to be given much time by society to process traumatic events. A person gets assaulted, well too bad because you’ve got a test to take on Monday morning. A parent dies, you get a few days off, then back to work. Brianna Wiest talks about this in… Read more
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From Isolation to Connection: Understanding Your True Self
“… needing solitude too often usually means there is a discrepancy between who you pretend to be and who you actually are.” – Brianna Wiest, The Mountain Is You From Bubbly to Isolated Welp. I feel called out. I used to be very bubbly and outgoing, but now I spend a lot of time alone.… Read more
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Book #16- Reflections on “The Mountain Is You”
Book #16 The Mountain Is You By Brianna Wiest “When we self-sabotage, it is often because we have a negative association between achieving the goal we aspire to and being the kind of person who has or does that thing.” – Brianna Wiest, The Mountain Is You Hmmm okay, interesting. Let me think about this.… Read more
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How To Kill Someone Without Ever Killing Them
The Importance of Personal Narrative The English language needs to invent a new word for the act of killing someone without ever killing them. While I was reading the graphic novel Maus by Art Spiegelman, there is a panel where his father admits to having thrown out Art’s late mother’s journals from the time she… Read more
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Competing With a Ghost
The Picture of Others in Our Mind In the graphic novel Maus by Art Spiegelman, he talks about how he often felt compared to the idea of his older brother Richieu, who died as a child during World War 2. Richieu was later idealized in his parent’s mind. What would he have become? Surely not… Read more
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Book #15- Reflections on “Maus”
Book #15 Maus By Art Spiegelman The Importance of Individual’s Stories I chose a different type of book this time because the last few have been pretty information-heavy. Give me a graphic novel. This book involves some pretty serious content though, and may not be for everyone. It is an illustrated novel that bounces back… Read more
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Being Entertained by Other People’s Lives vs. Our Own
My Own Life Became Filled With Other People’s Storylines In my latest blog post, I talked about the ethical consumption of other people’s lives for our own entertainment. But there is another part of the story that I am grappling with. That is, being entertained by other people’s lives vs. being entertained by my own.… Read more
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Living Ethically in the Age of Entertainment
Our Lives as Entertainment We consume each other’s lives more than we ever have. If I go on social media, I can find out what a coworker ate for lunch, details of my friend’s messy divorce, and that another friend’s child had to be rushed to the hospital. We aren’t just living our lives, we… Read more
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How to Be More Present: 6 Ways I’m Fighting Mental Burnout
Are You Enjoying Your Relationships? I don’t enjoy my relationships as much as I used to. That takes a lot for me to admit. Coordinating our schedules used to happen effortlessly, and we were present when we were together. Now, scheduling a meeting with friends typically takes weeks if not months to organize. When it… Read more
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When Lies Rewrite Your Life: The Impact of False Narratives
Dealing with the effects of misbelief will soon be its own therapy topic, I think. Not just for the one who believes the false information, but also for the one who is the subject of the lies. For the latter, the situation can feel incredibly disorienting since they often do not see the rumors develop-… Read more
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How to Rebuild Trust and Secure Attachment
The Need to Feel Secure & Connected While reading Misbelief by Dan Ariely, I realized that I can explain one of the overarching issues in my life with more scientific language. That is, the difference between insecure and secure attachment. I have slipped into a mindset of insecure attachment. I no longer expect the ground… Read more
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7 Ways to Foster Healthy Relationships in Society
I am beginning to sense a theme in my 2025 Reading Challenge (which is to read 52 books this year). I have intentionally chosen books of a variety of genres- some artistic, some self-help, some biographical, some fiction, etc. But one theme has slowly been bubbling to the surface in many of these books: the… Read more
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Book #14- Reflections on “Misbelief”
Book #14 Misbelief By Dan Ariely Fake Controversy Dan Ariely begins this book by talking about being confronted with a series of disturbing rumors that he is apparently an evil mastermind with a nefarious plot related to the COVID-19 pandemic. He found this incredibly unnerving and disorienting due to how little the story had to… Read more
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Putting My Needs First
Acknowledging My Own Needs I think putting my needs first is what this blog is all about. Well, actually that might be too ambitious to say. I think I have to start even smaller than that by perhaps first admitting that I even have needs and beginning to wonder what those needs are. For so… Read more