Author: Messy Bun Book Lover
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How to Rebuild Trust and Secure Attachment
The Need to Feel Secure & Connected While reading Misbelief by Dan Ariely, I realized that I can explain one of the overarching issues in my life with more scientific language. That is, the difference between insecure and secure attachment. I have slipped into a mindset of insecure attachment. I no longer expect the ground… Read more
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7 Ways to Foster Healthy Relationships in Society
I am beginning to sense a theme in my 2025 Reading Challenge (which is to read 52 books this year). I have intentionally chosen books of a variety of genres- some artistic, some self-help, some biographical, some fiction, etc. But one theme has slowly been bubbling to the surface in many of these books: the… Read more
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Book #14- Reflections on “Misbelief”
Book #14 Misbelief By Dan Ariely Fake Controversy Dan Ariely begins this book by talking about being confronted with a series of disturbing rumors that he is apparently an evil mastermind with a nefarious plot related to the COVID-19 pandemic. He found this incredibly unnerving and disorienting due to how little the story had to… Read more
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You Can Be Affected By Trauma Even if it Doesn’t Occur
You Can Be Safe, But Still Scared In If Only I’d Known!, Chelsey Brooke Cole talks about the emotional impact of a near miss. Events can still affect you even if they don’t actually end up happening. She uses the example of nearly hitting an animal with your car. Your heart may still be racing… Read more
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Giving It Time
Trauma Cloaks My Writing in a Fog I recently read If Only I’d Known! by Chelsey Brooke Cole. It is about dealing with narcissists, setting boundaries, and rebuilding self-worth. It is unfortunately the exact book I need for context on my life. That being said, I actually had quite a difficult time writing blog posts… Read more
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Putting My Needs First
Acknowledging My Own Needs I think putting my needs first is what this blog is all about. Well, actually that might be too ambitious to say. I think I have to start even smaller than that by perhaps first admitting that I even have needs and beginning to wonder what those needs are. For so… Read more
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The Suction of Abuse
The Progression of an Abusive Relationship Very rarely do abusive relationships start out that way. Often each person involved is on their best behavior in the beginning. Wonderful memories are made. You hope this will last forever. Over time, disquieting experiences start to show. You start to feel unheard or subtly disrespected. No matter. The… Read more
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Book #13- Reflections on “If Only I’d Known!”
Book #13 If Only I’d Known! By Chelsey Brooke Cole LPC-MHSP, CPTT, RPT The Compounding Relationship Between Trauma & Blame Therapist Chelsey Brooke Cole begins this book by talking about how upset she was at herself for being in yet another abusive relationship. The negative feelings she had toward herself had intensified with each mistake,… Read more
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Modern-Day Posters
Our Need for Quick Information Before social media, before television, before radio, before even photography was invented there was the humble poster. This was the primary means of disseminating information on a wide scale to the general public. Often, posters need to have maximum visual impact for people walking, biking, driving, or taking public transit.… Read more
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Human Artist vs. Machine Artist
How to Define “Art” in the 21st Century What defines art? How will we define it in this new phase of humanity? Is art created using artificial intelligence considered “art”? Can a photograph generated using AI be compared to a photograph taken by a human? What is the distinction? I am trying to sort out… Read more
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The Blessing and Curse of Influence
The Relationship Between Influence and Originality In his book Drawing For Illustration, author Martin Salisbury talks about the number of artistic influences that modern day illustrators have access to. They are exposed to so much creativity from around the world at the click of a button. This access to information is incredible. Before the internet,… Read more
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A New Way of Looking at the World
Viewing the World With Intention I read Drawing for Illustration by Martin Salisbury fully knowing that I will never become a professional illustrator. I just wanted to know more about it. I really enjoyed the way so many of the artists featured in the book talked about drawing. I could feel their love for their… Read more
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When Curiosity Chooses the Book: Reading Drawing For Illustration
Reading For Curiosity, Not Goals I really enjoyed taking the time to read Drawing For Illustration by Martin Salisbury. I would not say it is a form of artistry that I had previously put much thought into. This book gave me a new appreciation for it. I have started to notice all the illustrations around… Read more
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Book #12- Reflections on “Drawing For Illustration”
Book #12 Drawing For Illustration By Martin Salisbury I have been choosing a lot of art books for my 2025 Reading Challenge, which is to read 52 books in 2025. Although I do occasionally create art, it is more of a hobby. I think one of the reasons that I am hesitant to call myself… Read more
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Rediscovering My Voice: How Blogging Revived My Writing
Until I began this blog, I hadn’t realized the writing skills that I had let wane over the years. I don’t mean writing for the sake of a report for school or work, ie. writing that strips any personality out of my thoughts. That’s the sort of writing that includes a lot of “as per… Read more
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The Number of Blog Posts
How I Became a Better Reader & Writer I was surprised by how many blog posts I wrote about the book There is No Ethan by Anna Akbari. Up until that point I was writing one or two posts about each book I read. For There is No Ethan, I ended up writing seven. I… Read more
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The Difference Between Subject-Matter and Content
What is a Creative Work Really About? In his book How To Be An Artist, Jerry Saltz makes the distinction between art’s subject matter and its content. The subject matter is what a piece is about, the content is what the piece is about. The subject matter of a painting, for example, might be a… Read more
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Thinking Like a Critic vs. Thinking Like an Artist
Critical vs. Creative Thinking One of my issues that I have with the modern school system is that it teaches students to largely think like a critic. We are taught to dissect things, find the problem and the solution. Creativity doesn’t work like that. Often the questions are open-ended and the answers are subconscious. It… Read more
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Art and Its Relationship to Honesty
“Art is a lie that tells the truth”- Picasso In my latest post, I was talking about Roy Lichtenstein and how he uses exaggeration to make a point. His exaggeration points toward truth, not away from it. It reminds me of the famous Picasso line: “art is a lie that tells the truth”. Exaggeration does… Read more
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An Artistic Exercise
Art That Makes Me Uncomfortable In his book How To Be An Artist, Jerry Saltz suggests to list three artists whose work makes you feel uncomfortable and then list three reasons why you are uncomfortable. Fine, I’ll bite. I’ll do the exercise. I will write about one of those examples in this blog post. The… Read more
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When Does Standardization Benefit Originality?
Finding Creative Opportunity In How To Be An Artist by Jerry Saltz, he says in order to be creative, don’t just simply mash two distinct art styles together but instead focus on the space in-between these styles. I think this is great advice, not just for art. The modern world is expanding rapidly- socially, technologically,… Read more
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Getting Lost
Originality is Often Romanticized In my latest blog post about the book How To Be An Artist by Jerry Saltz, I talked about straying from the well-worn path. I alluded to some of the pros and cons of doing so. However, I also admit that this is something I am still struggling with. I think… Read more
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Book #11- Reflections on “How To Be An Artist”
Book #11 How To Be An Artist By Jerry Saltz Do You Want a Formulaic or Creative Life? In this book, Saltz is talking about artist Sol LeWitt when he says, “Rigid adherence to formula can trap you in a cul-de-sac….” This resonates quite literally with me. My bachelor’s degree is in mathematics. It is… Read more
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Questions vs. Answers
Giving Yourself the Space to Ask Questions Lately I have been thinking a lot about the benefits that this blog has been having on my life. I have talked about how I feel lighter and happier for having a place to share my authentic thoughts. I began to wonder why this is. I know honesty… Read more
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Blogging vs. Therapy
Finding Mental Health Improvements Outside of Therapy I am a big fan of therapy. I think it is incredibly helpful when you are in crisis and also when you are doing well. It helps you to understand yourself and others better so that you can make informed personal choices about your life. It is empowering.… Read more
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Motherhood Highlight Reel
Motherhood & Social Media In Highlight Real by Emily Lynn Paulson, she talks about the way mothers compare themselves to others. It seems like an unlikely place to find competition. Who can bake the best bread? Change the most diapers? Have the best relationship with their kids (or at least look like they do)? But… Read more
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Gritting Your Teeth Over a Blessing
Both Blessing & Burden Can Coexist In Highlight Real by Emily Lynn Paulson, the author describes her fear over her fourth pregnancy. She was angry over the positive pregnancy test because she was already overwhelmed with three young children. She then reflexively had that feeling of “don’t you know how lucky you are” and “children… Read more
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Book #10- Reflections on “Highlight Real”
Book #10 Highlight Real By Emily Lynn Paulson Casual & Serious Lies of the Modern World This author talks openly about only sharing the highlights of her life and the casual (and serious) lies that accompany doing this. Part of the issue with the modern world is that, little by little, people drift farther away… Read more
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The Joy of Writing
Writing As Meditation This blog is helping reignite the joy of writing within me. I hadn’t realized that I lost it over the years. I was writing because I had to, either for school or work, or not at all. I really like the feeling I have after I write about my own thoughts on… Read more
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The Politics of Gift Giving
Unhappy Christmases I was reading the part of the book Hate Follow by Erin Quinn-Kong, where the fractured family is celebrating Christmas. I have had a lot of those types of Christmases in my life; where instead of eggnog there are eggshells, instead of cheer there is fear, and instead of angels there are devils.… Read more