Author: Messy Bun Book Lover
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Book #16- Reflections on “The Mountain Is You”
Book #16 The Mountain Is You By Brianna Wiest “When we self-sabotage, it is often because we have a negative association between achieving the goal we aspire to and being the kind of person who has or does that thing.” – Brianna Wiest, The Mountain Is You Hmmm okay, interesting. Let me think about this.… Read more
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Am I a Reliable Witness?
I think when a person is victimized repeatedly, they start to blame themself. And when they are in an environment that is toxic, they start to believe that they are the toxic one. This makes asking for help very difficult. The second guessing creates confusion over whether they are a reliable witness. Okay, so story… Read more
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How To Kill Someone Without Ever Killing Them
The Importance of Personal Narrative The English language needs to invent a new word for the act of killing someone without ever killing them. While I was reading the graphic novel Maus by Art Spiegelman, there is a panel where his father admits to having thrown out Art’s late mother’s journals from the time she… Read more
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Competing With a Ghost
The Picture of Others in Our Mind In the graphic novel Maus by Art Spiegelman, he talks about how he often felt compared to the idea of his older brother Richieu, who died as a child during World War 2. Richieu was later idealized in his parent’s mind. What would he have become? Surely not… Read more
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Blooming Pink Flowers
I have been feeling pretty pessimistic about the world for the past few years, but through this year of self-improvement I am trying to be more positive. This has meant that I have been consciously noticing more of life’s sweet moments. Recently, I was sitting in a park reading a book for my 2025 Reading… Read more
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Book #15- Reflections on “Maus”
Book #15 Maus By Art Spiegelman The Importance of Individual’s Stories I chose a different type of book this time because the last few have been pretty information-heavy. Give me a graphic novel. This book involves some pretty serious content though, and may not be for everyone. It is an illustrated novel that bounces back… Read more
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The Blessing of a Delay
Convenient Content I was recently writing a blog post in a place where the Wi-Fi wasn’t great. I was outdoors by the water so I am not complaining and I used my iPhone’s hotspot to write. After about an hour of writing, I took a break. I took a sip of my now-cold tea, and… Read more
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Being Entertained by Other People’s Lives vs. Our Own
My Own Life Became Filled With Other People’s Storylines In my latest blog post, I talked about the ethical consumption of other people’s lives for our own entertainment. But there is another part of the story that I am grappling with. That is, being entertained by other people’s lives vs. being entertained by my own.… Read more
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Living Ethically in the Age of Entertainment
Our Lives as Entertainment We consume each other’s lives more than we ever have. If I go on social media, I can find out what a coworker ate for lunch, details of my friend’s messy divorce, and that another friend’s child had to be rushed to the hospital. We aren’t just living our lives, we… Read more
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How Reading Books Helps Me Cope With Anxiety and Uncertainty
Feeling Insecure & Uncertain Can Lead You Down a Bad Road In Misbelief by Dan Ariely, he attributes much of a person’s fall down a rabbit hole to a sense of feeling uncomfortable with ambiguity and uncertainty. This person then seeks easy, quick answers online and feels a temporary, short-term sense of power and control… Read more
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How to Be More Present: 6 Ways I’m Fighting Mental Burnout
Are You Enjoying Your Relationships? I don’t enjoy my relationships as much as I used to. That takes a lot for me to admit. Coordinating our schedules used to happen effortlessly, and we were present when we were together. Now, scheduling a meeting with friends typically takes weeks if not months to organize. When it… Read more
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When Lies Rewrite Your Life: The Impact of False Narratives
Dealing with the effects of misbelief will soon be its own therapy topic, I think. Not just for the one who believes the false information, but also for the one who is the subject of the lies. For the latter, the situation can feel incredibly disorienting since they often do not see the rumors develop-… Read more
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How to Rebuild Trust and Secure Attachment
The Need to Feel Secure & Connected While reading Misbelief by Dan Ariely, I realized that I can explain one of the overarching issues in my life with more scientific language. That is, the difference between insecure and secure attachment. I have slipped into a mindset of insecure attachment. I no longer expect the ground… Read more
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7 Ways to Foster Healthy Relationships in Society
I am beginning to sense a theme in my 2025 Reading Challenge (which is to read 52 books this year). I have intentionally chosen books of a variety of genres- some artistic, some self-help, some biographical, some fiction, etc. But one theme has slowly been bubbling to the surface in many of these books: the… Read more
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Book #14- Reflections on “Misbelief”
Book #14 Misbelief By Dan Ariely Fake Controversy Dan Ariely begins this book by talking about being confronted with a series of disturbing rumors that he is apparently an evil mastermind with a nefarious plot related to the COVID-19 pandemic. He found this incredibly unnerving and disorienting due to how little the story had to… Read more
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You Can Be Affected By Trauma Even if it Doesn’t Occur
You Can Be Safe, But Still Scared In If Only I’d Known!, Chelsey Brooke Cole talks about the emotional impact of a near miss. Events can still affect you even if they don’t actually end up happening. She uses the example of nearly hitting an animal with your car. Your heart may still be racing… Read more
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Giving It Time
Trauma Cloaks My Writing in a Fog I recently read If Only I’d Known! by Chelsey Brooke Cole. It is about dealing with narcissists, setting boundaries, and rebuilding self-worth. It is unfortunately the exact book I need for context on my life. That being said, I actually had quite a difficult time writing blog posts… Read more
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Putting My Needs First
Acknowledging My Own Needs I think putting my needs first is what this blog is all about. Well, actually that might be too ambitious to say. I think I have to start even smaller than that by perhaps first admitting that I even have needs and beginning to wonder what those needs are. For so… Read more
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The Suction of Abuse
The Progression of an Abusive Relationship Very rarely do abusive relationships start out that way. Often each person involved is on their best behavior in the beginning. Wonderful memories are made. You hope this will last forever. Over time, disquieting experiences start to show. You start to feel unheard or subtly disrespected. No matter. The… Read more
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Book #13- Reflections on “If Only I’d Known!”
Book #13 If Only I’d Known! By Chelsey Brooke Cole LPC-MHSP, CPTT, RPT The Compounding Relationship Between Trauma & Blame Therapist Chelsey Brooke Cole begins this book by talking about how upset she was at herself for being in yet another abusive relationship. The negative feelings she had toward herself had intensified with each mistake,… Read more
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Modern-Day Posters
Our Need for Quick Information Before social media, before television, before radio, before even photography was invented there was the humble poster. This was the primary means of disseminating information on a wide scale to the general public. Often, posters need to have maximum visual impact for people walking, biking, driving, or taking public transit.… Read more
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Human Artist vs. Machine Artist
How to Define “Art” in the 21st Century What defines art? How will we define it in this new phase of humanity? Is art created using artificial intelligence considered “art”? Can a photograph generated using AI be compared to a photograph taken by a human? What is the distinction? I am trying to sort out… Read more
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The Blessing and Curse of Influence
The Relationship Between Influence and Originality In his book Drawing For Illustration, author Martin Salisbury talks about the number of artistic influences that modern day illustrators have access to. They are exposed to so much creativity from around the world at the click of a button. This access to information is incredible. Before the internet,… Read more
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A New Way of Looking at the World
Viewing the World With Intention I read Drawing for Illustration by Martin Salisbury fully knowing that I will never become a professional illustrator. I just wanted to know more about it. I really enjoyed the way so many of the artists featured in the book talked about drawing. I could feel their love for their… Read more
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When Curiosity Chooses the Book: Reading Drawing For Illustration
Reading For Curiosity, Not Goals I really enjoyed taking the time to read Drawing For Illustration by Martin Salisbury. I would not say it is a form of artistry that I had previously put much thought into. This book gave me a new appreciation for it. I have started to notice all the illustrations around… Read more
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Book #12- Reflections on “Drawing For Illustration”
Book #12 Drawing For Illustration By Martin Salisbury I have been choosing a lot of art books for my 2025 Reading Challenge, which is to read 52 books in 2025. Although I do occasionally create art, it is more of a hobby. I think one of the reasons that I am hesitant to call myself… Read more
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Rediscovering My Voice: How Blogging Revived My Writing
Until I began this blog, I hadn’t realized the writing skills that I had let wane over the years. I don’t mean writing for the sake of a report for school or work, ie. writing that strips any personality out of my thoughts. That’s the sort of writing that includes a lot of “as per… Read more
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The Number of Blog Posts
How I Became a Better Reader & Writer I was surprised by how many blog posts I wrote about the book There is No Ethan by Anna Akbari. Up until that point I was writing one or two posts about each book I read. For There is No Ethan, I ended up writing seven. I… Read more
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The Difference Between Subject-Matter and Content
What is a Creative Work Really About? In his book How To Be An Artist, Jerry Saltz makes the distinction between art’s subject matter and its content. The subject matter is what a piece is about, the content is what the piece is about. The subject matter of a painting, for example, might be a… Read more
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Thinking Like a Critic vs. Thinking Like an Artist
Critical vs. Creative Thinking One of my issues that I have with the modern school system is that it teaches students to largely think like a critic. We are taught to dissect things, find the problem and the solution. Creativity doesn’t work like that. Often the questions are open-ended and the answers are subconscious. It… Read more