Author: Messy Bun Book Lover
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The Lingering Feeling of Virtual Worlds
A Brave New World of Images Recently, I did a virtual reality experience about the Titanic. It included: Perhaps you know me by now, but I approach these things the way I would an art exhibit. I am fascinated by the way technology affects us- emotionally, physically, and psychologically. And this Titanic experience reminded me of the all-too-real… Read more
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The Price of Seeking Help: When Mental Health Records Become Liabilities
At the Doctor’s Office I had a doctor’s appointment today to fill out some occupational health forms for a new job. They checked my ears, eyes, lungs, weight, reflexes, medical history, and more. But there was an awkward moment. My doctor told me that he would unfortunately need to indicate my past “Emotional Problems” on… Read more
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THEIR Death is the Only Boundary That They Won’t Cross
A Depressing Clarification is Needed A few months ago, I published a post called Death is the Only Boundary That They Won’t Cross. It discussed how death is the only cage that can confidently hold predators. But I realize I have to make a disheartening clarification, that is, their death is the only boundary that they won’t cross.… Read more
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I Didn’t Fear a Bear…
A Spontaneous Nature Adventure I was recently in an area with some beautiful hiking trails. I was unfamiliar with that spot and had no map of the trails- I wasn’t even sure if I could find the path off the road, but I didn’t want to lose out on the opportunity to explore. So I… Read more
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On the Men Who Make Women Louder, Not Quieter
The Benefits of a Healthy Dynamic Between Men & Women Because of my feminist writing, some people might assume that I hate men. I don’t. I love and respect men. I adore the dynamic between men and women when it is healthy- and that is why I get so offended when it is not. So… Read more
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When I see Myself Through His Eyes…
When I See Myself Through His Eyes… I always get less than I deserve. I am a thing, not a person. I am a side character. I exist for others, not myself. My value is in my appearance, yet somehow I am overworked. I am depleted. When I See Myself Through My Eyes… I am worthy… Read more
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He Called it Love
Why Did My Strength Make Me More Vulnerable? He called me a hard worker, he meant it as a compliment, but I have come to loathe this praise. It started as a virtue of mine, but has turned into a trap. I am exhausted and depleted. What has my hard work accomplished except to empty… Read more
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I Had a 500 Day Streak on Duolingo… Can I Speak German?
I Had a 500 Day Streak on Duolingo In 2025, I completed a 500 day streak on Duolingo and was in the top 3% of global users. According to the app, I was learning faster than 95% of other learners. By then, I had reached an A2 level of German (score 43), which meant that… Read more
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You Are Allowed to Leave: 60+ Valid Relationship Deal Breakers
What are “Valid” Deal Breakers? Many people stay in unhealthy relationships because they are not sure if what happened was “bad enough” to justify leaving. And when these toxic behaviours are repeated, they become “normal”, which makes you even less likely to question them. So, I want to list some valid deal breakers. This isn’t… Read more
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The Smile Women Learn to Have
Solo Female Travels Recently, I posted a personal essay called Someone Ran a Stop Sign… & I Smiled at Them. In it, I talk about how quickly I defaulted to reassuring someone after they had almost hurt me. That post was still lingering in my mind, when I had another experience… Earlier this week, I went… Read more
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Someone Ran a Stop Sign… & I Smiled at Them
Looking Both Ways Today, when I was about to cross the street, a moped cut across my path. I jolted, shifting my weight off the street and back onto the sidewalk as he crossed in front of me. I locked eyes with the (male) driver and smiled and nodded. It wasn’t until I began walking… Read more
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I Read 52 Books in One Year- Was it Worth It?
Trying a Different Approach to Learning After I finished my master’s degree, I felt more disenchanted than inspired. But why? I had the diploma, the debt, and the societal recognition. What was missing? That was in 2016, and since then education has experienced seismic shifts: rising costs, increased online learning, emerging AI technologies, and an… Read more
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What Self-Expression Looks Like After Survival
I’m a Wannabe Maximalist & Minimalist For a long time, I made clothing, hairstyle, and makeup choices to please others. Or, more accurately: I made these choices not to upset them. And now I am trying to find myself again. Yet, I have recently mentioned my burgeoning desire to become more environmentally friendly. Because that,… Read more
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Am I Supposed to Lie?
Why Are You Coaching Me to Lie? “I have a boyfriend”, I lied. I didn’t want to lie. I wanted to tell the truth- that I was aggressively single. But I couldn’t, because that would be an invitation. So I lied. As a child, I was told lying is bad. So why am I expected… Read more
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The Angry Pink Horse on the Carousel
There’s an angry pink horse on the carousel. All the others seem content to go around and around. But not this one. Its skin is an unnatural shade of bubblegum pink, its eyes bulging with peeling black paint, and its head is cocked at a tense angle- as if it is trying to throw off… Read more
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What a Pedophile Taught Me About Manners
Using My Voice For Good When I was young, there was an older man who orbited my life. I felt uneasy around him, though not necessarily unsafe. Only in adulthood did I come to learn of the multiple allegations that had been made against him involving inappropriate sexual behavior toward minors. I was lucky at… Read more
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This Reading Challenge Was a Strange Mix of Privilege and Desperation
Excess & Limitations Last year, I began my 52-Book Reading Challenge because I needed a change. If you have read some of my content, you can probably tell the types of things I was struggling with at the time: health issues, toxic relationships, and questioning lifelong unhealthy beliefs. That being said, the opportunity to read… Read more
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Going to a Concert Alone
Putting Myself Out There Last year, I went to a concert alone and it was one of the highlights of my year. It was a last-minute ticket for a somewhat fringe artist. So my friends either already had plans or simply don’t listen to that kind of music. I have been a fan of this… Read more
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Staying Quiet & Having Nothing to Say Are Two Different Things
Follow Your Voice I started 2025 very nervous to express myself. I believed I had nothing of value to say. So filling any sort of space with my thoughts felt daunting. But by the end of the year, I had written over 125,000 words across 150+ blog posts. It turns out I had a lot… Read more
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Death is the Only Boundary That They Won’t Cross
Innocent to Aware When I was young, I believed that every person on earth was a blessing. And then I grew up. My thoughts on this have been refined by time and trauma. I still believe that every person is born a blessing. But whether or not they stay one is based on their behaviour.… Read more
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Paying For the Box Instead of the Chocolate
Boxes of Chocolate I was browsing in a small store recently, waiting to pick something up, when my eyes fell on some familiar boxes of chocolates. They’re made in my area and are quite well-known and beloved locally. But over the past few years, inflation has hit their prices hard and they went from “pick up… Read more
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5 Ways to Calm Down in 1 Minute or Less
Do you ever feel yourself getting wound up and out of control, unable to stop the feeling? For me, I start to grit my teeth, my breathing gets faster, my hands ball into fists, and I have trouble concentrating. In this state, life feels overwhelming and effort seems pointless. But I have learned 5 quick… Read more
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More Images to Help Regulate You
I’m learning to look for the beauty in the world- not only that, but intentionally cultivate and create it. There is so much to notice and make, once you get past all the noise. I want to lose myself, getting up close to pretty things; to examine them and question them; to philosophize with them… Read more
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Images to Help Regulate You
I used to think that being online was over-stimulating, but now I realize that not only can I find peace online, I can intentionally cultivate it. So instead of endlessly scrolling social media, I have been taking time to appreciate beauty- without metrics, comparison, or anxiety. Just pretty things to calm my mind and help… Read more
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I Had a Great Year, So Why Am I Sad?
When I look back on 2025, so many wonderful things happened. I met someone special, went on exciting adventures, began to express myself, and enjoyed other people expressing themselves too. I should feel great about it. But instead, I am trapped in a feeling of tension and misplacement- like I am not actually able to… Read more
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Book #52- Reflections on “The Psychology of Money”
Book #52 The Psychology of Money By Morgan Housel The Making of a Financial Mindset When I was a child, I would sneak $20 bills into my parents’ bedroom dresser when they were fighting. Like most married couples, their fights were about money. And, like most children, I believed it was my responsibility to fix… Read more
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Is Consumerism Ever Good & Minimalism Ever Bad?
Maximalism & Minimalism Is consumerism ever good- and is minimalism ever bad? We’re often taught that restraint in buying is virtuous, while abundance is shallow. But reading Christmas Shopaholic by Sophie Kinsella made me question whether the moral divide is as clear as we pretend it is. In this book, Kinsella contrasts a shopaholic sister with an… Read more
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The Word I’d Be Most Honoured to Receive
The Different Types of Gift-Giver I recently read Christmas Shopaholic by Sophie Kinsella, just in time for the holidays. It gave me a lot to think about regarding my own shopping habits. In the book, there are the typical holiday archetypes: the shopaholic, the regifter, the “just buy me my usual aftershave” type, and the eco-conscious. I… Read more
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Book #51- Reflections on “Christmas Shopaholic”
Book #51 Christmas Shopaholic By Sophie Kinsella After I finished this book, I realized that it is part of a series. Damn. I feel like I missed an opportunity for some backstory and character development; but the book still worked well on its own. I have a lot of respect for Kinsella’s ability to do… Read more
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Book #50- Reflections on “A Christmas Carol”
Book #50 A Christmas Carol By Charles Dickens Pop Culture Has Infiltrated My Mind I had never read A Christmas Carol before, so my knowledge of this story came entirely from secondhand references- mostly pop culture parodies. This is unusual for me. I am the type who prefers to read the book before engaging in any of… Read more