Author: Messy Bun Book Lover
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Book #23- Reflections on “The Highly Sensitive Person’s Guide to Dealing with Toxic People”
Book #23 The Highly Sensitive Person’s Guide to Dealing with Toxic People By Shahida Arabi, MA I can feel my blood pressure go down when I read books like this. It feels like a sane voice in my life. Toxic people thrive in toxic systems so there are often very few people to turn to… Read more
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Finding Balance: Reading, Reflection, and Self-Care
Learning to Celebrate My Wins and Appreciate Success I am just about halfway through my year-long challenge of reading 52 books. When reading so many books (and writing several blog posts about each), the pace needs to be quick. But I need to allow myself space for reflection as well. I know reading these books… Read more
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Learning to Accept Myself: A Journey From Self-Rejection to Self-Compassion
I Rejected Myself First I think the reason this blog is so healthy for me is that it is allowing me to catch up to my own thoughts. I often grumble internally about being unappreciated at work or in my relationships, but the first person to reject my value was me. I was constantly holding… Read more
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Book #22- Reflections on “Rejection Proof”
Book #22 Rejection Proof By Jia Jiang Second Guessing Yourself My social anxiety could never handle doing a rejection experiment like this. I thought briefly about doing some sort of rejection therapy as part of this Reading Challenge, but I know myself well enough. For now, I just have to live vicariously through Jiang who,… Read more
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Leaving Busyness Behind to Find Peace in Nature
I Am Playing a Dangerous But Lovely Game As I write this, I am in the middle of the woods. I am only about a mile or two from the nearest building but that seems perilously far because it has been raining on and off and I am out here with all of my devices… Read more
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Book #21- Reflections on “UnBroken: The Trauma Response Is Never Wrong”
Book #21 Unbroken: The Trauma Response Is Never Wrong By MaryCatherine McDonald, PhD The Importance of Positive Mentors I lost a lot of my mentors over the past decade. Some of this came simply from life’s progression. I moved on from sports so I no longer have coaches. I finished my master’s and left my… Read more
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Two Kinds of “Love”: Exploring Toxic vs. True Love
I think I just figured it out: the two kinds of “love” that I have experienced. Before, if a person told me they love me I sometimes wouldn’t feel it. I know they meant it but it was like their love would get lost in some maze on its way to my heart. I had… Read more
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9 Differences Between Toxic and Healthy Relationships
As many of you know by now, I have struggled with toxic relationships in the past. I had poor boundaries, which had been encouraged for my whole life. I was taught not to question things and just work hard. Now, I am moving toward healthier communities and the difference is striking. Healthy relationships have a… Read more
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I Exceeded the Limits of My Nervous System
Learning to Listen to My Body’s Messages Despite being crude, Mark Manson is pretty wise. I am currently reading The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck and have found quite a lot of takeaways. For one, recognizing the value of pain. This pain can be physical or mental. Either way, it is a warning… Read more
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Book #20- Reflections on “The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck”
Book #20 The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck By Mark Manson Good Recommendation, Ms. Funnily enough, this book was recommended to me by a very spiritual, church-loving senior citizen. That intrigued me. If the language wasn’t enough to scare her off, then maybe there is something to it. Even after getting just a… Read more
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Excessive Test-Taking Creates Academic People Pleasers
How Schools Train, not Teach Students My theory is that the current method of test-taking and applying for universities trains students to be educational and workplace people pleasers. They try to do what the teacher, university, or their boss wants, in order to be “successful”. To be fair, from all my years of education I… Read more
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The Pressure on Modern Students
A High Achiever’s Burnout Story In my latest post, I discussed I Was Told It Would Get Easier by Abbi Waxman and the limitations of the metrics used when measuring student potential and success. This for me is a very personal issue and is connected to something much larger: the pressure we put on modern… Read more
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Book #19- Reflections on “I Was Told It Would Get Easier”
Book #19 I Was Told It Would Get Easier By Abbi Waxman The Problem With Measuring People With Metrics Books with cartoon covers always throw me off. I expect them to be simple and childish and they will sometimes be deeply thoughtful. This book follows a fictional mother and daughter as they tour college campuses… Read more
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Book #18- Reflections on “Field Study”
Book #18 Field Study By Helen Humphreys The Calming Effect of Nature and Books This book is simple and profound. I felt as though the author and I briefly met (at least through her written word) before each going on our individual year-long journeys. There was a certain parallelism to the way we spent our… Read more
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Book #17- Reflections on “Steal Like An Artist”
Book #17 Steal Like An Artist By Austin Kleon This book has been on my TBR list for a long time. I can’t believe how long it has taken me to get around to reading it considering it’s actually pretty short. It has a lot of wisdom in it, though. I wanted to devote this… Read more
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Why Emotional Awareness Matters in Today’s World
Society Doesn’t Pause for Trauma We never seem to be given much time by society to process traumatic events. A person gets assaulted, well too bad because you’ve got a test to take on Monday morning. A parent dies, you get a few days off, then back to work. Brianna Wiest talks about this in… Read more
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From Isolation to Connection: Understanding Your True Self
“… needing solitude too often usually means there is a discrepancy between who you pretend to be and who you actually are.” – Brianna Wiest, The Mountain Is You From Bubbly to Isolated Welp. I feel called out. I used to be very bubbly and outgoing, but now I spend a lot of time alone.… Read more
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How Scandal Affects Perception
Why Public Trust Matters I have talked recently about the importance of public trust- both in individuals and institutions. It creates healthier, happier, and more productive individuals and groups. However, this has certainly been decreasing in my own society lately. I know my public trust has decreased and that is an early warning sign of… Read more
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Book #16- Reflections on “The Mountain Is You”
Book #16 The Mountain Is You By Brianna Wiest “When we self-sabotage, it is often because we have a negative association between achieving the goal we aspire to and being the kind of person who has or does that thing.” – Brianna Wiest, The Mountain Is You Hmmm okay, interesting. Let me think about this.… Read more
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Am I a Reliable Witness?
I think when a person is victimized repeatedly, they start to blame themself. And when they are in an environment that is toxic, they start to believe that they are the toxic one. This makes asking for help very difficult. The second guessing creates confusion over whether they are a reliable witness. Okay, so story… Read more
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How To Kill Someone Without Ever Killing Them
The Importance of Personal Narrative The English language needs to invent a new word for the act of killing someone without ever killing them. While I was reading the graphic novel Maus by Art Spiegelman, there is a panel where his father admits to having thrown out Art’s late mother’s journals from the time she… Read more
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Competing With a Ghost
The Picture of Others in Our Mind In the graphic novel Maus by Art Spiegelman, he talks about how he often felt compared to the idea of his older brother Richieu, who died as a child during World War 2. Richieu was later idealized in his parent’s mind. What would he have become? Surely not… Read more
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Blooming Pink Flowers
I have been feeling pretty pessimistic about the world for the past few years, but through this year of self-improvement I am trying to be more positive. This has meant that I have been consciously noticing more of life’s sweet moments. Recently, I was sitting in a park reading a book for my 2025 Reading… Read more
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Book #15- Reflections on “Maus”
Book #15 Maus By Art Spiegelman The Importance of Individual’s Stories I chose a different type of book this time because the last few have been pretty information-heavy. Give me a graphic novel. This book involves some pretty serious content though, and may not be for everyone. It is an illustrated novel that bounces back… Read more
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The Blessing of a Delay
Convenient Content I was recently writing a blog post in a place where the Wi-Fi wasn’t great. I was outdoors by the water so I am not complaining and I used my iPhone’s hotspot to write. After about an hour of writing, I took a break. I took a sip of my now-cold tea, and… Read more
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Being Entertained by Other People’s Lives vs. Our Own
My Own Life Became Filled With Other People’s Storylines In my latest blog post, I talked about the ethical consumption of other people’s lives for our own entertainment. But there is another part of the story that I am grappling with. That is, being entertained by other people’s lives vs. being entertained by my own.… Read more
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Living Ethically in the Age of Entertainment
Our Lives as Entertainment We consume each other’s lives more than we ever have. If I go on social media, I can find out what a coworker ate for lunch, details of my friend’s messy divorce, and that another friend’s child had to be rushed to the hospital. We aren’t just living our lives, we… Read more
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How Reading Books Helps Me Cope With Anxiety and Uncertainty
Feeling Insecure & Uncertain Can Lead You Down a Bad Road In Misbelief by Dan Ariely, he attributes much of a person’s fall down a rabbit hole to a sense of feeling uncomfortable with ambiguity and uncertainty. This person then seeks easy, quick answers online and feels a temporary, short-term sense of power and control… Read more
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How to Be More Present: 6 Ways I’m Fighting Mental Burnout
Are You Enjoying Your Relationships? I don’t enjoy my relationships as much as I used to. That takes a lot for me to admit. Coordinating our schedules used to happen effortlessly, and we were present when we were together. Now, scheduling a meeting with friends typically takes weeks if not months to organize. When it… Read more
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When Lies Rewrite Your Life: The Impact of False Narratives
Dealing with the effects of misbelief will soon be its own therapy topic, I think. Not just for the one who believes the false information, but also for the one who is the subject of the lies. For the latter, the situation can feel incredibly disorienting since they often do not see the rumors develop-… Read more