Tag: healing
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Can Love & Trust Be Forced?
“You claim the gods should love and care for humans. I disagree. I don’t think love can be bought or earned or even prayed for. It must be freely given.” – Axie Oh, The Girl Who Fell Beneath the Sea Can Love Be Forced? Axie Oh put into words something that has humbled me in adulthood.… Read more
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The Beauty Around Me: What I Noticed When I Finally Looked Up
Noticing the Beauty Around Me I am trying to be a happier person these days- more appreciative and less pessimistic. So I am intentionally putting effort into noticing the beauty of the world around me. A few days ago, I was at the park. I was by myself and laid down a blanket under the… Read more
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What I Gained When I Gave Up News, Social Media, and Sugar Before Bed
The Rules That Helped Me Heal After a painful trip to the emergency room for gastritis and reading Rest is Resistance by Tricia Hersey, I have been looking to reshape my life. I gave myself a few new rules, each designed to manage stress: The Impact of These Practical & Emotional Rules The worst part is these… Read more
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Book #28- Reflections on “Rest is Resistance”
Book #28 Rest is Resistance By Tricia Hersey When Life Forces You to Slow Down A recent stress-induced trip to the emergency room made me question my relationship with productivity, as did the previous book in my reading challenge. That is how I found Rest is Resistance by Tricia Hersey. My body was making it clear that… Read more
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Failure Vs. Mistakes
Did You Make a Mistake or Fail? What if failure wasn’t a sign that you did the wrong thing? Maybe you were doing something incredibly right. Will Gompertz makes an important distinction in his book Think Like an Artist: the difference between failure and mistakes. He explains that a mistake happens when you are wrong. It… Read more
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A Prescription of Chirping Birds
An Unexpected ER Visit A few nights ago, I had to take a little trip to the emergency room. I was vomiting profusely and in a lot of pain. The good news is that it wasn’t anything life threatening; only gastritis (an irritation of the stomach lining). While I was back home recovering, I fell… Read more
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Finding Balance: Reading, Reflection, and Self-Care
Learning to Celebrate My Wins and Appreciate Success I am just about halfway through my year-long challenge of reading 52 books. When reading so many books (and writing several blog posts about each), the pace needs to be quick. But I need to allow myself space for reflection as well. I know reading these books… Read more
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Learning to Accept Myself: A Journey From Self-Rejection to Self-Compassion
I Rejected Myself First I think the reason this blog is so healthy for me is that it is allowing me to catch up to my own thoughts. I often grumble internally about being unappreciated at work or in my relationships, but the first person to reject my value was me. I was constantly holding… Read more
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Leaving Busyness Behind to Find Peace in Nature
I Am Playing a Dangerous But Lovely Game As I write this, I am in the middle of the woods. I am only about a mile or two from the nearest building but that seems perilously far because it has been raining on and off and I am out here with all of my devices… Read more
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Book #21- Reflections on “UnBroken: The Trauma Response Is Never Wrong”
Book #21 Unbroken: The Trauma Response Is Never Wrong By MaryCatherine McDonald, PhD The Importance of Positive Mentors I lost a lot of my mentors over the past decade. Some of this came simply from life’s progression. I moved on from sports so I no longer have coaches. I finished my master’s and left my… Read more
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Two Kinds of “Love”: Exploring Toxic vs. True Love
I think I just figured it out: the two kinds of “love” that I have experienced. Before, if a person told me they love me I sometimes wouldn’t feel it. I know they meant it but it was like their love would get lost in some maze on its way to my heart. I had… Read more
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9 Differences Between Toxic and Healthy Relationships
As many of you know by now, I have struggled with toxic relationships in the past. I had poor boundaries, which had been encouraged for my whole life. I was taught not to question things and just work hard. Now, I am moving toward healthier communities and the difference is striking. Healthy relationships have a… Read more
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I Exceeded the Limits of My Nervous System
Learning to Listen to My Body’s Messages Despite being crude, Mark Manson is pretty wise. I am currently reading The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck and have found quite a lot of takeaways. For one, recognizing the value of pain. This pain can be physical or mental. Either way, it is a warning… Read more
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Why Emotional Awareness Matters in Today’s World
Society Doesn’t Pause for Trauma We never seem to be given much time by society to process traumatic events. A person gets assaulted, well too bad because you’ve got a test to take on Monday morning. A parent dies, you get a few days off, then back to work. Brianna Wiest talks about this in… Read more
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How To Kill Someone Without Ever Killing Them
The Importance of Personal Narrative The English language needs to invent a new word for the act of killing someone without ever killing them. While I was reading the graphic novel Maus by Art Spiegelman, there is a panel where his father admits to having thrown out Art’s late mother’s journals from the time she… Read more
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Book #15- Reflections on “Maus”
Book #15 Maus By Art Spiegelman The Importance of Individual’s Stories I chose a different type of book this time because the last few have been pretty information-heavy. Give me a graphic novel. This book involves some pretty serious content though, and may not be for everyone. It is an illustrated novel that bounces back… Read more
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Living Ethically in the Age of Entertainment
Our Lives as Entertainment We consume each other’s lives more than we ever have. If I go on social media, I can find out what a coworker ate for lunch, details of my friend’s messy divorce, and that another friend’s child had to be rushed to the hospital. We aren’t just living our lives, we… Read more
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You Can Be Affected By Trauma Even if it Doesn’t Occur
You Can Be Safe, But Still Scared In If Only I’d Known!, Chelsey Brooke Cole talks about the emotional impact of a near miss. Events can still affect you even if they don’t actually end up happening. She uses the example of nearly hitting an animal with your car. Your heart may still be racing… Read more
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Giving It Time
Trauma Cloaks My Writing in a Fog I recently read If Only I’d Known! by Chelsey Brooke Cole. It is about dealing with narcissists, setting boundaries, and rebuilding self-worth. It is unfortunately the exact book I need for context on my life. That being said, I actually had quite a difficult time writing blog posts… Read more
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Putting My Needs First
Acknowledging My Own Needs I think putting my needs first is what this blog is all about. Well, actually that might be too ambitious to say. I think I have to start even smaller than that by perhaps first admitting that I even have needs and beginning to wonder what those needs are. For so… Read more
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Book #13- Reflections on “If Only I’d Known!”
Book #13 If Only I’d Known! By Chelsey Brooke Cole LPC-MHSP, CPTT, RPT The Compounding Relationship Between Trauma & Blame Therapist Chelsey Brooke Cole begins this book by talking about how upset she was at herself for being in yet another abusive relationship. The negative feelings she had toward herself had intensified with each mistake,… Read more
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Book #12- Reflections on “Drawing For Illustration”
Book #12 Drawing For Illustration By Martin Salisbury I have been choosing a lot of art books for my 2025 Reading Challenge, which is to read 52 books in 2025. Although I do occasionally create art, it is more of a hobby. I think one of the reasons that I am hesitant to call myself… Read more
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Book #11- Reflections on “How To Be An Artist”
Book #11 How To Be An Artist By Jerry Saltz Do You Want a Formulaic or Creative Life? In this book, Saltz is talking about artist Sol LeWitt when he says, “Rigid adherence to formula can trap you in a cul-de-sac….” This resonates quite literally with me. My bachelor’s degree is in mathematics. It is… Read more
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Motherhood Highlight Reel
Motherhood & Social Media In Highlight Real by Emily Lynn Paulson, she talks about the way mothers compare themselves to others. It seems like an unlikely place to find competition. Who can bake the best bread? Change the most diapers? Have the best relationship with their kids (or at least look like they do)? But… Read more
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Gritting Your Teeth Over a Blessing
Both Blessing & Burden Can Coexist In Highlight Real by Emily Lynn Paulson, the author describes her fear over her fourth pregnancy. She was angry over the positive pregnancy test because she was already overwhelmed with three young children. She then reflexively had that feeling of “don’t you know how lucky you are” and “children… Read more
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The Importance of Healthy Relationships
Learning to Interpret Bad Behavior I have now written several blog posts about the book There is No Ethan by Anna Akbari. It is a true story of catfishing. Although I have begun to read my next book for my 2025 Book Reading Challenge, my mind keeps coming back to this story. In my own… Read more
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Early Thoughts on My 2025 Reading Challenge
Impact Over Numbers My goal in 2025 is to read 52 books to see how my life improves. I will be documenting this year-long journey in blog posts. I am now only a few books in but I have some initial thoughts on this experience. For starters, my overall goal is self-improvement. I want to… Read more
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Relief in the Realization: I’m Not Alone in Faking Bad
Stuck Thinking Things Are Worse Than They Are I was first introduced to the term “faking bad” in the book I Want to Die But I Want to Eat Tteokbokki by Baek Sehee. It refers to a tendency to view yourself as worse off than you actually are. It describes my overall mindset perfectly. I… Read more
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Book #5- Reflections on “You Will Not Have My Hate”
Book #5 You Will Not Have My Hate By Antoine Leiris Terror & Tenderness My experience with this book can be summarized in one sentence: there were tears running down my face. It is a short book but incredibly powerful. It is written by a French man whose wife- the mother of his young child,… Read more
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I’m Not Ready To Forgive
Forcing Forgiveness Just Causes More Problems While reading Judgment Detox by Gabrielle Bernstein, I noticed a pit in my stomach anytime she talked about forgiveness. Overall, I have an upbeat disposition but forgiveness feels like a thorn in my side. I am not ready to do that yet. Also, I think so often people feel… Read more