Both Blessing & Burden Can Coexist
In Highlight Real by Emily Lynn Paulson, the author describes her fear over her fourth pregnancy. She was angry over the positive pregnancy test because she was already overwhelmed with three young children. She then reflexively had that feeling of “don’t you know how lucky you are” and “children are a blessing”.
But children can also be a burden. And that’s alright to admit. Children cost a lot to raise. They require time, attention, nurturing, care, a chauffeur, to be fed, emotional guidance, and much more.
All of this is true AND they are still a blessing. But each of these- burden and blessing- shouldn’t cancel out the other. They should both be allowed to exist and we should all be allowed to admit it.
Often a feeling of “I don’t want to complain, because others may have it worse” can cover up real issues. When we aren’t allowed to question things, it keeps us stuck in outdated social contracts.
Having to contort yourself into an outwardly pleasing expression is exhausting, and it is a short-term fix that will just isolate a person further. Whereas, expressing your genuine emotions can lead to positive change.
You feel raising four children is overwhelming? A lot of people probably agree with you and there is support in that. Also, there are several societies now with such low birth rates (due to a variety of factors) like Japan, Canada, etc. that we will need to start to question if people feeling overwhelmed by parental responsibilities is good for society.
Messy Bun Book Lover
(Originally posted on Apr. 22, 2025)
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