Tag: emotional intelligence
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The Lingering Feeling of Virtual Worlds
A Brave New World of Images Recently, I did a virtual reality experience about the Titanic. It included: Perhaps you know me by now, but I approach these things the way I would an art exhibit. I am fascinated by the way technology affects us- emotionally, physically, and psychologically. And this Titanic experience reminded me of the all-too-real… Read more
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On the Men Who Make Women Louder, Not Quieter
The Benefits of a Healthy Dynamic Between Men & Women Because of my feminist writing, some people might assume that I hate men. I don’t. I love and respect men. I adore the dynamic between men and women when it is healthy- and that is why I get so offended when it is not. So… Read more
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Am I Supposed to Lie?
Why Are You Coaching Me to Lie? “I have a boyfriend”, I lied. I didn’t want to lie. I wanted to tell the truth- that I was aggressively single. But I couldn’t, because that would be an invitation. So I lied. As a child, I was told lying is bad. So why am I expected… Read more
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What a Pedophile Taught Me About Manners
Using My Voice For Good When I was young, there was an older man who orbited my life. I felt uneasy around him, though not necessarily unsafe. Only in adulthood did I come to learn of the multiple allegations that had been made against him involving inappropriate sexual behavior toward minors. I was lucky at… Read more
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Book #52- Reflections on “The Psychology of Money”
Book #52 The Psychology of Money By Morgan Housel The Making of a Financial Mindset When I was a child, I would sneak $20 bills into my parents’ bedroom dresser when they were fighting. Like most married couples, their fights were about money. And, like most children, I believed it was my responsibility to fix… Read more
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The Long Road to a Split-Second Decision: How Character is Built Before the Moment
The Making of an Impulse Our split-second decisions might feel erratic, but they aren’t random. They are connected to our long-term behaviour. It isn’t an obvious, direct correlation. Sometimes we can surprise ourselves in the moment; we might be overcome with panic, confusion, or another strong emotion. But other times our responses are entirely predictable.… Read more
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Book #46- Reflections on “I’m Glad My Mom Died”
Book #46 I’m Glad My Mom Died By Jennette McCurdy An Unexpected, But Familiar Story I’m Glad My Mom Died by Jennette McCurdy is an account of the author’s life as a former child star, which was heavily influenced by her overbearing mother. It reminds me of another book I read during my 52-Book Reading Challenge: The… Read more
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Jekyll & Hyde as a Couple: The Hidden Pattern in Toxic Relationships
Something Familiar About Jekyll & Hyde After reading The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, I wrote a blog post exploring three ways the “Hyde” in each of us can appear in modern life. In both that post and Stevenson’s novel, Jekyll and Hyde represent two sides of a single person: Dr. Jekyll is… Read more
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Book #41- Reflections on “Frankenstein”
Book #41 Frankenstein By Mary Shelley Frankenstein by Mary Shelley is a classic that has been on my reading list for a long time, and Halloween felt like the perfect season to read it. Two things struck me about this book: (This post will contain spoilers.) Adapting to Mary Shelley’s Writing Style Since this book was… Read more
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Book #38- Reflections on “The Power of Now”
Book #38 The Power of Now By Eckhart Tolle Are You Living in the Past, Present, or Future? The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle is the type of book that I could read once a year and still gain new insights from. It is about relinquishing your addiction to past or future thinking and instead… Read more
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The Terrifying World of Imagination
Imagination is a wonderful thing. It allows us to envision and create ideas before they exist in reality. It is a powerful personal and collective tool. However, imagination can also go awry. All of these imaginings aren’t always good or accurate. Recently, I read Ready Player One by Ernest Cline. It is about a fictional dystopian world… Read more
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Book #33- Reflections on “Ready Player One”
Book #33 Ready Player One By Ernest Cline This book takes place in a dystopian future where personal and collective problems can be ignored by plugging into the OASIS: a virtual reality universe where you can interact with users from all over the world. It has its own timezone, its own currency- which is more… Read more
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The Authentic Path to Forgiveness
“Forgiveness isn’t something you can will yourself to do. It’s a state of mind that comes to you when it’s good and ready. Pressure to forgive puts an unfair burden on a process that can take a lifetime and may never be completed.” – Lindsay C. Gibson, Disentangling From Emotionally Immature People What Love, Trust, &… Read more
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Feeling Helpless Toward Technology & Human Behavior
Feeling Helpless In the book The Girl Who Fell Beneath the Sea by Axie Oh, the protagonist laments about standing alone while having to “hold back the tide”. By saying this, she is referring to a few different things. In this mythological retelling, she sacrifices herself to the Sea God who has been ravishing her village. So… Read more
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The Beauty Around Me: What I Noticed When I Finally Looked Up
Noticing the Beauty Around Me I am trying to be a happier person these days- more appreciative and less pessimistic. So I am intentionally putting effort into noticing the beauty of the world around me. A few days ago, I was at the park. I was by myself and laid down a blanket under the… Read more
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What I Gained When I Gave Up News, Social Media, and Sugar Before Bed
The Rules That Helped Me Heal After a painful trip to the emergency room for gastritis and reading Rest is Resistance by Tricia Hersey, I have been looking to reshape my life. I gave myself a few new rules, each designed to manage stress: The Impact of These Practical & Emotional Rules The worst part is these… Read more
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Book #28- Reflections on “Rest is Resistance”
Book #28 Rest is Resistance By Tricia Hersey When Life Forces You to Slow Down A recent stress-induced trip to the emergency room made me question my relationship with productivity, as did the previous book in my reading challenge. That is how I found Rest is Resistance by Tricia Hersey. My body was making it clear that… Read more
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Failure Vs. Mistakes
Did You Make a Mistake or Fail? What if failure wasn’t a sign that you did the wrong thing? Maybe you were doing something incredibly right. Will Gompertz makes an important distinction in his book Think Like an Artist: the difference between failure and mistakes. He explains that a mistake happens when you are wrong. It… Read more
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Book #26- Reflections on “Think Like an Artist”
Book #26 Think Like an Artist By Will Gompertz Lack of Confidence in Creative People It is ironic that a lot of creative people suffer from a lack of confidence and imposter syndrome- since creative fields have some of the lowest standards of entry. You don’t need to pass a test to be a song… Read more
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Believing the Fantasy: Why Realism Still Matters in a CGI World
The Use of Practical & Digital Effects in Film The Lord of the Rings movies are some of the greatest movie masterpieces of all time. The movies were shot at the turn of the 21st century, and relied heavily on practical effects such as using location miniatures, meticulous attention to detail on costumes, body doubles, and forced… Read more
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Front Seat vs. Back Seat Imagination
Books Expand Your Perspective I have just read the 24th book of my 52-Book Reading Challenge: Death of the Author by Nnedi Okorafor. It follows an unlikely protagonist: a disabled Nigerian immigrant who is the family oddball. I’ve already written a post about that book, but I wanted to talk a little bit more about the value books… Read more
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How Images Shape Us: From Paintings to Deepfakes
Our Emotional Relationship to Technology I am constantly trying to assess and reassess my emotional relationship to technology. Looking at our emotional relationship to technology, I believe, will be a lot like us assessing our emotional relationship to art. This is just the next manifestation of it. I think “our emotional relation to images” will… Read more
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I Know You Better Than You Know Yourself
Do Others Know Me Best? During my year of self-improvement, I am reassessing the relationships in my life. In doing so, I have noticed a certain kind of person who says statements along the lines of: “I know you better than you know yourself”. I never really thought about how violating this phrase is. I… Read more
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Book #23- Reflections on “The Highly Sensitive Person’s Guide to Dealing with Toxic People”
Book #23 The Highly Sensitive Person’s Guide to Dealing with Toxic People By Shahida Arabi, MA I can feel my blood pressure go down when I read books like this. It feels like a sane voice in my life. Toxic people thrive in toxic systems so there are often very few people to turn to… Read more
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Finding Balance: Reading, Reflection, and Self-Care
Learning to Celebrate My Wins and Appreciate Success I am just about halfway through my year-long challenge of reading 52 books. When reading so many books (and writing several blog posts about each), the pace needs to be quick. But I need to allow myself space for reflection as well. I know reading these books… Read more
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Learning to Accept Myself: A Journey From Self-Rejection to Self-Compassion
I Rejected Myself First I think the reason this blog is so healthy for me is that it is allowing me to catch up to my own thoughts. I often grumble internally about being unappreciated at work or in my relationships, but the first person to reject my value was me. I was constantly holding… Read more
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Book #22- Reflections on “Rejection Proof”
Book #22 Rejection Proof By Jia Jiang Second Guessing Yourself My social anxiety could never handle doing a rejection experiment like this. I thought briefly about doing some sort of rejection therapy as part of this Reading Challenge, but I know myself well enough. For now, I just have to live vicariously through Jiang who,… Read more
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Book #21- Reflections on “UnBroken: The Trauma Response Is Never Wrong”
Book #21 Unbroken: The Trauma Response Is Never Wrong By MaryCatherine McDonald, PhD The Importance of Positive Mentors I lost a lot of my mentors over the past decade. Some of this came simply from life’s progression. I moved on from sports so I no longer have coaches. I finished my master’s and left my… Read more
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Two Kinds of “Love”: Exploring Toxic vs. True Love
I think I just figured it out: the two kinds of “love” that I have experienced. Before, if a person told me they love me I sometimes wouldn’t feel it. I know they meant it but it was like their love would get lost in some maze on its way to my heart. I had… Read more
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Book #20- Reflections on “The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck”
Book #20 The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck By Mark Manson Good Recommendation, Ms. Funnily enough, this book was recommended to me by a very spiritual, church-loving senior citizen. That intrigued me. If the language wasn’t enough to scare her off, then maybe there is something to it. Even after getting just a… Read more