Book #9
Hate Follow
By Erin Quinn-Kong
Exploring Family Vlogs Through Fiction
This is a light-hearted fiction book with serious undertones. It uses fictional characters and scenarios to discuss themes such as parenting, online family influencers, children’s right to privacy, family relationships, and what we owe the people that we love. I enjoy books like this that explore complex issues by jumping between a variety of different perspectives.
I’m glad we as a society are starting to talk about the impact of family vlogging. Kids who grew up online are now becoming adults. The effects are starting to be felt.
We Each Feel the Need to Perform for Others Online
Even if you weren’t the child of an online influencer, I think you still feel the pull to perform for others online. You feel like you must pretend everything is okay, that you are always succeeding and never struggling. It benefits your boss, school, family, and wider network when you are doing well (or at least look like you are doing well).
Parents, for example, get a big ego boost when their children are doing well- which is partially warranted. Parents should be celebrated for raising good and successful people. Society needs good parents. But I think intentions and values can be blurred in this sort of online social system.
When children have to perform socially for others they start to develop a negative sense of self. This is especially important at a time when the child is just learning who they are; they shouldn’t have to be who others want them to be. They learn that their value comes from performing for others not from being themself. It can take a lifetime to unlearn that distorted sense of self and personal value.
Even on social media if the child is being themself, the effect is typically highly curated. The child will gradually stop doing the things they love for the sheer joy of it and start doing it based on external rewards/ punishments. Those are very different ways for a child to approach their passions. One will lead to continual growth, the other to burnout and resentment.
Messy Bun Book Lover
(Originally posted on Apr. 18, 2025)
Read Hate Follow by Erin Quinn-Kong → https://amzn.to/4qt5sMv
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