I am beginning to sense a theme in my 2025 Reading Challenge (which is to read 52 books this year). I have intentionally chosen books of a variety of genres- some artistic, some self-help, some biographical, some fiction, etc. But one theme has slowly been bubbling to the surface in many of these books: the importance of healthy relationships and the pitfalls of unhealthy ones.
Having healthy relationships is a type of social insurance policy. It strengthens individuals and society as a whole. So how do we design a society that fosters healthy relationships? Here are a few ways:
7 Ways to Foster Healthy Relationships in Society
1. Provide Genuine Support to Individuals
Vulnerability Framed as Structural, Not Personal
People who are cared for (especially in times of vulnerability- like childhood, life changes, illness, trauma, etc.) will benefit society in measurable ways. Supported people tend to have better educational outcomes, stronger emotional regulation, and more stable relationships.
They are also less likely to rely heavily on emergency services, crisis interventions, or long-term institutional support later in life. Care provided is not only humane, it’s efficient. It is a positive investment.
The Unseen Costs of People Fending For Themselves
The opposite is also true. When people are left to navigate vulnerability alone, they often carry unresolved stress, fear, or scarcity into their relationships. This can make them more dependent, more defensive, or more susceptible to manipulation and abuse. There is a long-term cost to neglect.
When vulnerability is framed as a structural failure, not a personal one, we can skip past the blame and move toward building a society that everyone benefits from- instead of trying to correct harm later on.
2. Emphasize Important Life Skills in School
Building healthy individuals from the root leads to a healthy society. Access to essential life skills- such as financial literacy, emotional regulation, healthy boundaries, conflict resolution, and self-advocacy- shouldn’t be a luxury, but rather a foundational requisite.
Most of us weren’t taught these skills deliberately- we learned them by accident, unevenly, or not at all. And if a person lacks these essential skills, they may be vulnerable to people who seek to exploit the weakness. For example, your spouse will dislike your bad money habits, but a scammer will love them.
The strain of these behaviours can damage even healthy relationships with people who genuinely care.
3. Have Free and Accessible Public Spaces
The Value of Gatherings
Having these (both physically and digitally) is very good for society. You do not want everyone cloistered in their own homes. You want places for people with similar values and interests to meet.
Solitude isn’t inherently unhealthy, but when it is forced upon an individual and becomes excessive, it is detrimental to their wellbeing. So giving citizens the option to meet in healthy, safe places can decrease the risks that come with increased isolation.
Being able to gather in a park, public library, church, or art gallery is so nourishing to an individual and society. This is where people can go to share ideas, discuss problems in their lives with friends, or unwind for the day. It is like free therapy. Seriously, one of the cheapest ways to provide therapy to a society is to let people meet. It also helps people to feel included and valued, not ostracized.
But these must be meetings based on genuine care, not forced interaction. If the relationships aren’t mutually enjoyable, then that will just create more of a gap than separation would.
Are Adults Only Valuable if They Buy Something?
Adulthood makes you realize that you aren’t welcome everywhere. When you are young, not only are you welcome at places like school, you are expected to be there. They are happy to see you.
This is not guaranteed in adulthood. Sure, in adulthood your boss probably wants you at work but it’s not because they care about you. It is because they want something from you.
A business wants you to come in, but that is because they want you to purchase something. This can feel isolating. And if a person loses their job for example, there aren’t that many places that they are welcome to spend time at besides home. If they do not have a good home life, this can leave them vulnerable. You want them to have many places where they can go.
4. Have Good Public Transit
People Want Independence… & Society Wants That Too
In the U.S. version of the T.V. show Love on the Spectrum, which follows the love lives of autistic adults, one cast member is obsessed with the Massachusetts Bay Transportation Authority (MBTA). She says it is because it gives her a sense of freedom and independence.
Besides contributing greatly to good city planning, public transit pays untold dividends especially to vulnerable members of society. It allows them to function with a level of independence that they otherwise would not have.
This is a really good thing for society. We want vulnerable people to be able to take care of their own needs as much as possible and they want this too. It is dignifying for them. It is a win-win scenario for them and society at large. It is very expensive to care for vulnerable people, if they can care for themselves that means it does not have to be provided for by the state.
If no public transit is available, that person will be reclusive and likely spend a lot of time online- which is a dangerous thing if that is your main source of connection and community. Having a good transportation service also means that vulnerable people are less dependent on caregivers, freeing those people to have more free time to do what they enjoy. The benefits are cascading.
5. Develop High Public Trust
Institutional
This includes social services that actually serve. If social services are stretched thin or inadequate, people will not reach out to them. They know they cannot help.
Similarly, if a person has access to a social service but believes accessing it won’t have a positive result, then they won’t use it. An example of this is reporting sexual assaults. Why go through all that bother when you can almost guarantee law enforcement won’t do anything?
When trust in the system is low, problems persist which is very costly to individuals and society.
This public trust needs to exist for everyone, not just a certain subset of the population, but also for minorities such as women and new immigrants.
For example, in my country there was a controversy where the military had covered up decades of sexual abuses. Although I am patriotic and care about the well-being of my fellow country men and women, I do not feel it is possible for me to safely serve in the military. I am willing and able to do so if it is safe, but since it is not, I am not serving. Society loses out when people feel like that.
Individual
I have noticed that my trust in other people has gone down. For a long time, I maintained my small-town habit of smiling and giving a little wave to every person I passed on the street. Now, I don’t do that. I don’t trust that others are kind-hearted.
If I am walking alone, I don’t trust the intentions of the man coming to talk to me so I play with my phone, pretending to be on a call. I also don’t trust that I would like their behaviours that don’t involve me, like their online activity.
There have been a lot more scandals lately. A lot of decades-old stories are coming out about past abuses. I used to see people as mostly good, now I need them to show me they are good before I give too much of my time or energy to them.
Do I Go Out of My Way For Others Anymore?
Before, I would have helped people no questions asked. Now, I have questions.
This is the consequence of decreased social trust. I miss living in a society where trust is high. It is more fun and you can spend more time doing the things you care about instead of worrying about other people’s behaviour.
Because of this decreased trust, I am less invested in the outcomes of others.
Fair Consequences For Bad Behaviour
One remedy to this is a society having fair consequences for bad behavior, or else everyone will do it.
A few years ago, I had someone threaten me with their car. This was my first ever encounter with this person and the police had to be involved. He ended up just getting a warning despite video evidence of him doing this.
When I heard about his lax punishment, I jokingly said: “Oh! I am going to start committing a lot more crimes. Why shouldn’t I if there are no consequences?” (I am a law-abiding citizen who has never even gotten a parking ticket.) But why should I follow the law if other people don’t?
That is a bad attitude for citizens to have. Those who have this attitude will typically give less to society and take more since it is not being put to good use.
6. Have a Good Standard of Living
You Have Interests Beyond Meeting Your Basic Needs? Who Knew?
People should also feel safe and have a sense of control (such as through strong purchasing power) over their own lives. This gives people enough time and resources to pursue and fulfill their interests. It frees their hands and minds to focus on other things besides meeting basic needs.
This allows people to demonstrate their values and identity through what they spend their time and money on, whether it is family, sports, theatre, art, volunteering, etc.
People are better parents, students, and community members when they do not have to spend most of their time looking out for themselves. They can think of others.
7. Cultivate a Healthy Sense of Community
Cultivate Healthy Sources of Identity & Belonging
Sports teams, drama clubs, and knitting societies are much healthier in-group classifications of people than many us-vs-them mentalities.
Of course these can still develop an in-group/ out-group mentality that is toxic. People get into fights if their sports team loses, people argue online over why they are a Taylor Swift fan and definitely NOT a Sabrina Carpenter fan, or the leader of the knitting club might be stingy with allowing others to join (the club is very exclusive).
These can be toxic scenarios, but rarely do they develop into the violence of extremism. It never escalates that much. Not all in-group, out-group classifications are toxic and these help a person to refine who they are.
We Are Stronger Together
Societies and individuals can be designed to be more resilient- which will be paramount in the age of misinformation, rapid technological increase, extremism, and unprecedented global threats. A society that fosters healthy relationships is one that reduces its vulnerability.
In an age of increased loneliness, polarization, and isolation, building healthy relationships seems like a rebellious act. It is an acknowledgment that we are stronger together than when we are separate- not simply emotionally, but functionally as well.
When a society maximizes the potential of its human resources, it reaps the benefits. When people are held back, the society can falter. After all, the relationship between individuals and society is a symbiotic one. When the individual is nourished, they give back to society, and vice versa.
Messy Bun Book Lover
(Originally posted on May 24, 2025, edited Jan. 2026)