Motherhood & Social Media
In Highlight Real by Emily Lynn Paulson, she talks about the way mothers compare themselves to others. It seems like an unlikely place to find competition. Who can bake the best bread? Change the most diapers? Have the best relationship with their kids (or at least look like they do)? But I suppose competition can be found everywhere and social media exacerbates this.
Part of this problem comes from the nature of motherhood. It is isolating.
When a mom stays home with her kids, she will often spend more time online to fill the off-hours. She can’t easily leave the house, so turning on the computer becomes a quick alternative. It keeps her connected to the outside world.
This habit can be both a good and bad thing. It can help connect her to people in a similar situation but she can also see the shininess of other people’s lives while she is wrist-deep in bodily waste. Her own life feels worse by comparison.
The Myth of the “Perfect Mother”
One of the first books that I read for this 2025 Reading Challenge was Shari Franke’s The House of My Mother. It is about her abusive YouTube mom, Ruby Franke.
Recently, there was a documentary that came out about this situation. In it, Ruby’s now ex-husband, Kevin, talks about how her soul desire was to be seen as the perfect mom and she turned to YouTube for this praise.
Mothers are expected to be perfect at all times. They are expected to suck up their emotions and put others’ needs first. But what happens when all this becomes performative? Who benefits?
Emily Lynn Paulson also talked about the culture of the “wine mom”- mothers who rely heavily on alcohol to get them through the day. These moms often make a joke of it, but it is also kind of depressing. Would they need alcohol so much if they were genuinely enjoying their life?
Messy Bun Book Lover
(Originally posted on Apr. 23, 2025)
Click to read more posts about Highlight Real by Emily Lynn Paulson:
Highlight Real by Emily Lynn Paulson is available here.
The House of My Mother by Shari Franks is available here.
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