This post contains spoilers about the book There is No Ethan by Anna Akbari, kindly stop reading now if you do not want to know any details.
When Bad Behaviour Meets Public Trust
In the book There is No Ethan by Anna Akbari, a woman poses as a man online and catfishes several women. In some cases the emotional manipulation went on for years. That serial catfish has gone on to have a long career as a gynecologist in New Jersey, USA. She faced minimal educational or professional repercussions.
I have two university degrees from two highly-rated North American Universities. One of these is a master’s degree.
During my schooling, I was surprised by how bad some people were in these environments.
They were bad to the point where you go out of your way to avoid them. Not quaint-little-disagreement type of bad, but rather I-will-forever-put-physical-distance-between-me-and-you type of bad. These people have gone on to have careers in healthcare, education, and law.
My time in higher education has made me realize why so many of the Forbes 30 Under 30 list have gone to prison. Education is no guarantee of goodness.
Messy Bun Book Lover
Postscript
I wrote this blog post with the full intention of never posting it. I’m not looking for a fight- though it’s unlikely that my tiny blog would attract one.
But just as I was content to let these words go forever unread, I got to the chapter in There is No Ethan where additional victims of the serial catfish are discovered after the experience was written about by a woman in her small, anonymous blog.
In my own blog post, I was very careful not to include any details in my writing. But I think when victims speak about this, it helps others who may be in similar situations. So it is with a pit in my stomach as well as utter abandon that I will schedule this blog post to go live in a few weeks.
I’m not trying to give myself any false sense of importance, I’ve lived my life for many years now and have talked about these situations privately to no avail. But I do think talking is healthy. At least I have more respect for myself than I did at the beginning of this blog post for having the courage to discuss these experiences publicly for the first time in some small way.
Messy Bun Book Lover
(Originally posted on Apr. 15, 2025)
To read more thoughts on There is No Ethan by Anna Akbari, you can follow these links:
- #8 Reflections on “There is No Ethan”
- Recognizing Abuse Online is Hard
- Why Do Smart People Get Scammed?
- Why is it Always a Health Crisis?
- The Importance of Healthy Relationships
- Conveniently Timed Sorry’s
- How Many Blog Posts Can I Write About a Single Book?
There is No Ethan by Anna Akbari is available here.
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