The Impact of Our Impulses
I recently read The Five People You Meet in Heaven by Mitch Albom and reflected on the lessons it teaches in my latest post. But something else struck me.
In each of the five lessons, one factor played a critical role, sometimes for good, sometimes for bad: the impact of our split-second decisions.
(*This post will contain spoilers from the book.)
Examples of Split-Second Decisions
The book hinged on these moments, and each person was affected in different ways by the outcomes.
- The book’s main character, Eddie, dies when he lunges to save a girl from a broken amusement park ride.
- 75 years earlier, a man swerved to miss Eddie in his car, but then crashed and died.
- Eddie’s father struck him out of anger.
- After meeting a beautiful woman, Eddie announced to his brother that he would marry her someday.
- While escaping captivity in the Philippines, Eddie accidentally kills a small local girl after he set fire to a hut.
- Eddie’s army Captain decided to survey a stretch of land before his men crossed over it, and was killed by a landmine.
- A teenager recklessly threw a glass bottle off a bridge onto the passing cars below.
- Mickey, a family friend, drunkenly forced himself on Eddie’s mother.
- Eddie’s father wanted to kill Mickey but ended up dying after he jumped into the ocean to save him from drowning.
These actions vary from reckless harm, to impulsive love, to instinctual protection, yet each had lifelong effects.
The Choices We Make in the Moment
I think it is easy to see life formulaically. It is comforting to think that big decisions lead to big outcomes, or good decisions lead to good outcomes. And sometimes this is true.
But to me, this book demonstrates the effect of the moments where we act without thinking.
Intent and outcome don’t always match.
Sometimes a reckless decision turns into the best thing that we ever did, other times a split-second act of mercy can be our demise.
There is no way to predict the result entirely, especially not straightaway. We have to trust that it will be the right choice; one that we will be comfortable living with going forward.
The Emotional Turmoil Over Impulses
These instantaneous decisions can cause enormous turmoil because we feel we had no time to prepare or consciously decide our path, yet the consequences echo for decades.
This juxtaposition can cause intense feelings of shame or pride. The moment forces a revelation about ourselves to the surface; one that we may like, or dislike.
It’s why these moments can have a long tail of forgiveness attached to them. Whether we need to forgive ourselves or others.
We tend to say: “if only”. But we rarely acknowledge the larger conditions of ourselves and the situation. When we look at these, decisions tend to seem less random.
Impulse Springs Forth From Your Inner World
Impulse doesn’t come out of nowhere. It springs forth from a person’s inner world.
A father hitting their child has probably been roiling with anger for a long time- then found an outlet for it.
Or, a soldier who sacrifices themselves has probably- perhaps even unknowingly- been accumulating this mentality for years.
Impulses, therefore perhaps aren’t always random- they’re revealing. They show a visible sign of a person’s character formation, conscious or unconscious values, and emotional buildup.
Our behaviour has roots. And maybe people are formed long before their defining moment- by their relationships, experiences, values, and everyday actions.
Is This Anxiety-Inducing or Peace-Giving?
To feel that your life can boil down to a single moment can feel anxiety-inducing; like you have to be ready for your shining moment at all times or risk a life of misery.
But I think impulse can be iterative. A bad impulse can be refined to become a future good impulse, paving the way for a better decision in the future.
So instead of anxiety, I think it is more important to acknowledge the importance of those spur-of-the-moment decisions.
There is no need to assign a positive or negative connotation to it- we must simply accept that sometimes, we won’t get a second chance.
And that means it’s worth living our life and values to the fullest from the outset.
Messy Bun Book Lover
The Five People You Meet in Heaven by Mitch Albom is available here → https://amzn.to/44GWfqm
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