My Own Life Became Filled With Other People’s Storylines
In my latest blog post, I talked about the ethical consumption of other people’s lives for our own entertainment. But there is another part of the story that I am grappling with. That is, being entertained by other people’s lives vs. being entertained by my own.
Without intentionally meaning to, I let the outside world take up too much space in my inner life. A person’s life can get filled up by the drama of celebrities, the news, or social media. But it can also get filled up with people they know and care about.
For me, this happened naturally. It got to the point where I was more aware of other people’s existence and struggles than my own. Caring about other people and causes can be healthy and honouring, but it can also lead to self-neglect. There are also more destructive examples of putting others first, like having to center an abusive partner in your life.
So it is time to focus on myself again. I’m worth it.
Care & Attention Are Different
I don’t want the attention that I give myself to be decided based on circumstance. I want it to be intentional.
Also, I sort of developed a toxic sense of: “I care too much about others”. But was that true? Or did I just focus too much on others? Care and attention aren’t the same thing.
Refocusing on Myself & My Goals
For me, this tendency caused my sense of self and personal goals to wane. My life was no longer filled with these things, but rather other people’s messy lives.
This isn’t a recipe for achieving your goals in life. I felt the effects of it, I lived it. I want to live a life so full of myself and the things I enjoy that I am a lot of fun to be around. And I want my own life to be so fun and entertaining that I do not need other people’s lives to fill my boredom.
Not only does self-focus enrich you personally, it will enrich your closest relationships and community too. It will make you less emotionally vulnerable and will improve your mental health.
I have also found that people care about me more when I cultivate this space within myself. I am not just mirroring them back to themselves, I am adding to their life by being me.
Well, that adds to the lives of healthy people. Toxic people, I think, just want more of themselves reflected back to them through the people around them.
I want, at the end of my life, for people to know who I am. I don’t just want to be a collection of other people’s lives. I want to live my own.
Messy Bun Book Lover
(Originally posted on May 30, 2025)