I drew this picture the other day but will regularly tell people “I am not an artist”. Sure, I do it as a hobby but I’ve never been formally trained. My general attitude toward my art is a sort of hands-in-my-pockets, playing-with-a-pebble-with-my-shoe sort of aww-schucks self-deprecation. Why?
This low self-esteem is a terrible thing as we are shifting towards a creative economy. Why do I have no confidence in my work even when it is good? Even my previous blog post about The Creative Act by Rick Rubin had a low-spirited emotional disposition.
Here are a few reasons that contribute to my low creative self-esteem.
4 Reasons You Might Have Low Creative Self-Esteem
Reason 1: The Way Creativity is Taught in Schools
Schools currently value information retention and the ability to communicate that information more so than recognizing the value of creativity. If your natural skills fall outside these abilities then you will likely have to go long periods of time without any positive reinforcement for your work. This will need to shift as our economy changes from knowledge-based to creativity-based. Now knowledge is widely accessible to anyone with an internet connection. The relative value of having it is decreasing while the value of what you do with your knowledge and skills is increasing.
Reason 2: Recognizing Authenticity and Inauthenticity
We also don’t value authentic self-expression much in society. We aren’t taught how to authentically express ourselves for the sake of it, we don’t know this on a personal, community, or societal level. This is why social media can be so confusing. What is healthy, natural self-expression and what is inauthentic? I genuinely can’t always tell. Likely no one can.
Reason 3: Little Time for Play
There is also very little free time these days. Even when time is being spent frivolously, it must be productive. You must produce art in order to sell it. You must do extracurriculars to get into a good school. You can’t play sports or write songs just for the fun of it. I remember when I was a kid, my friends and I would write songs together and make up dances to them. None of us were musicians and the songs were terrible but we would always end up on the floor with side-splitting laughter. Fun was the goal.
Now everything is measured. There has to be some external value to an activity. Does it make money? Can you put it on a resume? Does it build your network? I hate it and I suck at it. I pretend to be good at it, and often pull it off but it doesn’t feel good on the inside. But if you just leave it all behind and do the things you want for fun then you struggle to pay your bills. Is there a happy medium where a person can be productive but be genuinely having a good time too? I don’t want to be Chris McCandless but I don’t want to be Dwight Schrute either.
Reason 4: Comparing Yourself to Others too Early On
After I wrote the first rough draft of this blog post and included the picture of my art, I went on YouTube and immediately saw art by someone else that was much better than my own. I think this early comparison can either encourage people to reach higher with respect to their own work or they can see it and give up early knowing their work will likely never be as good as someone else’s. There is a lot of value in trying and sticking with something. But that value comes with genuine enjoyment, not crippling internal or external pressure.
Maybe, if my year of blogging is successful, I will try that next year: A year of trying new things. A year of being a beginner and maybe finding new things that I didn’t realize I had a knack for because I was too afraid to try.
Messy Bun Book Lover
(Originally posted on Mar. 5, 2025)
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