The Different Types of Gift-Giver
I recently read Christmas Shopaholic by Sophie Kinsella, just in time for the holidays. It gave me a lot to think about regarding my own shopping habits.
In the book, there are the typical holiday archetypes: the shopaholic, the regifter, the “just buy me my usual aftershave” type, and the eco-conscious.
I think we all know someone in each of these categories.
The eco-conscious character in the book, ever mindful of the environmental impact of gifts, decided to give their family a unique gift: a single word each.
Not wrapped, no explanation. Just a simple word.
I think the author intended for this gift to be a little playfully humorous in its minimalism; especially compared to the maximalist shopaholic main character.
But it gave me an interesting thought exercise.
The Power of Words
Throughout my year of reading, I have grown to immensely respect the power of words. They can truly shape a person’s idea of themselves and the world. Their impact, for better or for worse, cannot be overstated.
But words are something that I have struggled with.
The reason I chose to do this year-long Reading/ Blogging Challenge was that I was struggling to articulate myself.
It was like my words were getting trapped in my throat, in a sort of years-long verbal traffic jam.
Writing became a great way to circumnavigate this because I could rely on keyboard courage. It is easier to say something to a screen, than to an actual person.
Writing isn’t like public-speaking.
Public-speaking is exposed, personal, and the feedback is immediate.
In contrast, writing requires courage-lite. You don’t have to face each person individually and your courage only needs to last long enough to click “Publish”. Otherwise, you can tell yourself that you are writing a post that no one will ever see.
I found freedom in this form of communication.
Writing also allows for stillness and slowness, unlike having a conversation. This is great for an over-thinker. In writing, you are allowed to agonize over each word- in fact, encouraged to do so. If you did that in conversation, it would be awkward and you would be diagnosed with social anxiety.
Suddenly, through writing, over-thinking becomes a strength, not a weakness.
The Gift of a Single Word
The nature of writing made the exchange of words accessible and enjoyable, allowing me to both give and receive them as a reader and writer.
But I started to wonder about what single word I would give to others, and which I would like to receive back.
With some thought, I realized that if I were to give anyone who read my blog posts this year a single word, it would be grateful.
I am grateful to you for putting up with my terrible writing when I first started. Grateful to you for being a listening ear. And grateful for sharing your own words with me.
Misfiring Words
Now, I struggle more when thinking about the single word I would be honoured to receive.
I don’t always have an accurate perspective on myself, so I am unsure about what others would say and what I would want to hear. But a recent conversation gave me clarity.
Someone told me the word they want to be remembered by is stoic.
I flinched a little. I know this person well and I would not describe them as stoic at all. Instead, I would probably call them repressed or self-denying.
They are someone who I have felt constantly responsible for emotionally regulating.
But I knew that any attempt at pushback would get me nowhere.
The moment made me sad, demonstrating how our beliefs might not always be accurate. But it also gave me clarity.
The word I would be most honoured to receive this year is honest.
That is largely what this year has been about for me- no longer lying to myself or others, and walking away from situations that require me to do so.
And, I don’t just mean lying in the deliberate sense, but also in more subtle ways like denial or repression.
We bury our true thoughts in sand until we can convince ourselves that they don’t exist.
But this year, I wanted to dig those thoughts out like old bones, and dust them off. Those bones tell a story that deserves to be told.
Thank you for a wonderful year.
Messy Bun Book Lover
Christmas Shopaholic by Sophie Kinsella is available here.
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