Tag: violence
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He Never Touched Me, But I Was Still Harmed
Virginia’s Experience In Virginia Roberts Giuffre’s memoir, she talks about trying to reconcile with her father- a man who had abused her for years, starting when she was a young child. She wanted to do this for the sake of her kids, who she felt deserved to have a relationship with their grandfather. Virginia deeply… Read more
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Academics & Sexual Abuse
At one point in her memoir, Virginia Roberts Giuffre details being on Epstein’s island and being directed to give a sexual massage to a professor whom she had just met. She would go on to detail the number of high-ranking intellectuals who she would be trafficked to. My Own Experience I have nothing to do… Read more
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Abuse Tactics: Generations of Victims
Decades of Unnecessary Victims Harm has a way of repeating if there is no intervention. This can happen in several ways: Time moves on, but patterns often repeat, just in new contexts. That is why it is so important to stop perpetrators early and deny them access to potential victims- and to support victims so… Read more
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Abuse Tactics: Blame Shifting
Wiping the Slate Clean One way that abusers can get away with their abuse for so long is by blame shifting: pinning all of their bad behavior on someone else. No matter how awful they are, they will preserve their image (to themselves and others) if they manage to put the blame on someone else. It… Read more
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Abuse Tactics: Transactions Used as Justification
“They Took the Money, Didn’t They?” People who are harmed sexually will often face scepticism about the severity of the abuse if any sort of transaction occurred. If they got paid, were gifted a trip or a handbag, or even if they had an orgasm, these can be interpreted as evidence that the incident was “mutually beneficial”, and therefore… Read more
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Abuse Tactics: The Role of Community
Abuse Rarely Happens in Isolation Abuse is often thought of as something that happens between two people: an abuser and a victim. However, this dynamic rarely exists in isolation. Those around them can influence whether the abuse thrives or comes to an end. A supportive community can help someone recognize what is happening, believe their… Read more
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Abuse Tactics: Altered Reality
Wearing Away Their Reality All of the following abuse tactics are ways that perpetrators hide the reality of their abuse in order to reduce pushback to it. Once someone’s sense of reality is destabilized, they won’t fight back or hold the abuser accountable because they no longer trust their own perspective. Similarly, this veil can… Read more
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Abuse Tactics: Kindness Disguising Abuse
The Villain Acts Like a Hero Abusers rarely present themselves as villains. If cruelty looked outwardly cruel, fewer people would fall for it. Usually, they will cloak their cruelty under an illusion of kindness in order to gain the victims’ trust, and confuse the victims so the abuse can continue. This illusion also keeps their… Read more
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Abuse Tactics: Use of Power Imbalance
A power imbalance isn’t inherently toxic. It only becomes so when it is exploited or when it is intentionally engineered for the purposes of exploitation. Financial & Emotional Reliance The first power imbalance that many people experience is that between a parent and child. Parents can give, deprive, or threaten to take away such things… Read more
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Abuse Tactics: The Use of Force
Force as Action The use of physical force is one of the most recognizable forms of abuse, although it can still go unacknowledged because it often escalates over time. It involves someone using their body (or an object) to harm or restrain someone. In her memoir Nobody’s Girl, Virginia Roberts Giuffre frequently references this type of… Read more