Tag: sex & intimacy
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Abuse Tactics: Altered Reality
Wearing Away Their Reality All of the following abuse tactics are ways that perpetrators hide the reality of their abuse in order to reduce pushback to it. Once someone’s sense of reality is destabilized, they won’t fight back or hold the abuser accountable because they no longer trust their own perspective. Similarly, this veil can… Read more
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Abuse Tactics: Kindness Disguising Abuse
The Villain Acts Like a Hero Abusers rarely present themselves as villains. If cruelty looked outwardly cruel, fewer people would fall for it. Usually, they will cloak their cruelty under an illusion of kindness in order to gain the victims’ trust, and confuse the victims so the abuse can continue. This illusion also keeps their… Read more
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Abuse Tactics: Use of Power Imbalance
A power imbalance isn’t inherently toxic. It only becomes so when it is exploited or when it is intentionally engineered for the purposes of exploitation. Financial & Emotional Reliance The first power imbalance that many people experience is that between a parent and child. Parents can give, deprive, or threaten to take away such things… Read more
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Abuse Tactics: The Use of Force
Force as Action The use of physical force is one of the most recognizable forms of abuse, although it can still go unacknowledged because it often escalates over time. It involves someone using their body (or an object) to harm or restrain someone. In her memoir Nobody’s Girl, Virginia Roberts Giuffre frequently references this type of… Read more
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Common Abuse Tactics: Based on Virginia Roberts Giuffre’s Memoir
A New Miniseries Over the next several weeks, I will be posting articles in a miniseries exploring common abuse tactics. These include: All of the posts will use Virginia Roberts Giuffre’s memoir: Nobody’s Girl as a sort of spine to illustrate these common tactics. Unfortunately, Virginia was a victim of Jeffrey Epstein and Ghislaine Maxwell, yet, her… Read more
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Why Women Get Turned On When Their Partner Does the Dishes
Confusing Female Reactions I watched a man as he blustered about his partner: “She feels more romantic towards me when I do the dishes, than when I kiss her!” He sounded completely bewildered. For him, this instance seemed like another drop in the ocean of “confusing female emotions”. Why would doing the dishes make her… Read more