Our Lives as Entertainment
We consume each other’s lives more than we ever have. If I go on social media, I can find out what a coworker ate for lunch, details of my friend’s messy divorce, and that another friend’s child had to be rushed to the hospital. We aren’t just living our lives, we are telling the story of our lives and watching others do the same.
Before, we would have to specifically tune into something to be entertained- rent a movie, buy a video game, borrow a library book, etc. But now entertainment is widely available, even when we aren’t looking for it.
It is so easy these days to fill our time being entertained by other people’s lives. This can happen consciously or unconsciously. Sometimes it involves public figures or strangers on the internet, other times it involves people we know and genuinely care about.
Genuinely Caring About Others vs. Being Entertained by Their Life
Genuinely caring about the people in our lives and consuming their content can be two very different things. Attention does not necessarily mean care. And the lines between them can get blurry.
You might believe you are bonding with someone you know when you view or interact with their content or content featuring them, but are you? Do you feel the relationship has grown because of the interaction? Do they? Is it genuine? Maybe yes, maybe no.
There are two main issues that can develop:
2 Issues That Come From Consuming Other People’s Lives
1. Viewing the lives of others as sources of entertainment can cause us to see through a distorted lens
- The things we see on social media (or even in private photos) are curated. We are being shown the highlights and funny moments.
- Ex. Your child won an award at school? That will probably get posted to social media, not the fight they had with their sibling during the car ride home.
2. It can affect the nature of the relationship
- It can become performative, not genuine. A sort of “dance, monkey, dance” scenario.
This type of consumption has consequences. It may appear harmless on the surface, but it isn’t normal to have so much of our lives shared. It can feel violating especially if it is during a sensitive season of life or if there is a power imbalance between the person at the center of the content, the one sharing it, or the one viewing it. But do we ever stop to question boundaries?
A “Harmless” Example: The Line Between Caring & Consuming
A seemingly harmless example would be this: a parent sends regular photos of their young child to the child’s grandparent. The grandparent loves to receive these photos. I wonder how many of those photos the child would send to their grandparent if they got to decide? The grandparent loves their grandchild so what is wrong with this?
When I was younger, people who were close to me would want updates on my life. This is very nice of them to care, but it can turn into a scenario where you just send a smiling photo to them to get them off your back. Then as soon as the photo is taken, your smile drops.
I didn’t feel I was connecting with those relatives when my photo was being shared with them (although I’m sure they did). I felt like we were getting further apart. It sucks having your name, image, behaviors, and life consumed by other people. Even if it is people that you know and like.
My point with this example isn’t that we shouldn’t share content with people we care about, it is that the subject of the content should be able to decide what, when, and how they will share this content. Maybe a young child hates posing for photos but loves talking on the phone with their grandparents. The second choice would foster a healthier relationship between the subject of the content and the recipient. Both sides benefit from the exchange.
Developing Trust & Showing Respect When Creating Content
One way to find a healthier dynamic is simply this: ask the subject of your content what they want to be shared with others, with whom specifically, and in what way and then listen- genuinely listen to their answer. It can be a really fun and healthy activity to demonstrate values. It shows respect and care for the person you are speaking to.
If they do not like having their photo taken frequently, some other suggestions might be: to call or email their grandparents once a week, make a scrapbook for them, go out to lunch with them twice a month, etc. Asking for permission is a way of ethically consuming and sharing someone else’s life.
I think that is the point of divergence between caring and consuming the lives of others. Caring is outward-facing. It is about wanting what is best for another person. Consuming is inward-facing. It is about filling a need for you or someone else. You assume other people’s values and boundaries even if you believe you are doing something good.
Sometimes you can believe you are caring for someone because you receive the benefit of the exchange, so you feel the love. But do they?
Rethinking the Online Content I Consume
I am personally rethinking the kind of online content that I consume of both people I know and those I don’t. I have stopped watching family vlog channels on YouTube, for example.
I wouldn’t have called myself specifically a fan of these, but if the algorithm suggested those videos I would sometimes click. I don’t want to support these channels with my views anymore.
I have nothing against the channels per se, but rather my issue is with using kids who are too young to consent. It isn’t healthy for a kid to grow up that way and as a consumer, I don’t want to add to it despite the fact that kids can say and do some really funny things at times.
Reaching Out in Person, When I Can
As for people in my own life, I am trying to get to know how they really are- in person- not how they appear online. If I see them smiling on social media but constantly scowling in real life, I will put more trust in the real life reflection of their mood than the online one. Listening to a friend in real life will go a lot farther than watching their content on social media, both for you and for them. It is more personal and authentic.
Am I Not Entertained Enough by My Own Life?
I am also trying to see my own life as a source of my own entertainment. Why do I need to be constantly entertained by others? Isn’t my own life entertaining enough? I still like interacting with others online when it is happy and genuine (I am really enjoying blogging, for example). But I just want to make sure it is a mutually healthy exchange for everyone involved.
Messy Bun Book Lover
(Originally posted on May 29, 2025)