Book #7
The Measure
By Nikki Erlick
How Will You Be Remembered?
I was sick recently and spent a few days in bed. I think small illnesses are great for my Reading Challenge because while there, I finished this book in 2 days. I will surely get to 52 books by the end of the year that way. All joking aside, I really did enjoy this book.
One of the characters in the book had a collection of vintage celebrity mugshots on her wall. This included David Bowie, Frank Sinatra, Jane Fonda, Bill Gates, and Jimi Hendrix. She had hung them there as a reminder that none of those people are remembered for their screw-ups or the way the system worked against them, they are remembered for their greatness.
I found that really comforting and endearing. I hope that is the case for all people- that they are remembered for their essence and not the tangles along the way. That might be optimistic for me to hope for, but I still find it really sweet.
Upon reflection though, I think that is actually pretty common for people to be remembered well. Even when I think of someone like Amy Winehouse who struggled immensely, I mostly just think of her great music.
Are People Defined By Their Mistakes?
I personally tend to get really caught up in my mistakes. Or even just in my perceived mistakes that other people don’t really notice.
This has lent itself to a debilitating risk-aversion.
For example, I don’t like to drive anymore because “What happens if I make a mistake behind the wheel?” (The only accident I’ve ever been in was a minor fender bender where no damage was caused.) I am also really scared of getting a ticket. (I have never gotten a ticket in my life.)
The proportion of anxiety in my life compared to passion is out of whack. It is no longer at a healthy level. Perhaps I should push myself out of my comfort zone more so that I can live fully.
Being Highly Criticized Stops You From Trying
One blockage to this though is the environment I have existed in. I know part of this aversion to risk is a result of being highly criticized.
In such environments, it is better to not try new things because then you cannot be criticized. It is worse to try and fail if the result is eviscerating criticism. No thanks. I’m better off living my small life… and yet, am I? This doesn’t feel good to live this way.
I will brainstorm ways on how to get past this tendency. Two ways that I can initially think of are:
- Spend more time in healthy, creative environments
- Fill my life with the things I genuinely enjoy
It is very hard to feel fear when you are overwhelmed with love.
Love also makes you think better of yourself. Try berating yourself when you are staring at someone you love, beautiful art, or a sunset. Criticism isn’t anywhere close to mind.
Messy Bun Book Lover
(Originally posted on Mar. 28, 2025)
The Measure by Nikki Erlick is available here.
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