Book #2
The House of My Mother
By Shari Franke
Normally I Am Late to the Book Party
Normally I am late to read popular releases. It has become a habit of mine to read a book about 5-10 years after it has become popular.
I think I could make a career as a very specific type of book reviewer- I would call myself the “Late Reader”. Authors would love me because just as their books are losing hype on social media, there I am just coming across their work for the first time.
This is partially because I don’t (currently) have social media. So in order for a book to come on my radar, it needs to find me in a plinko sort of manner which takes longer than the instantaneousness of seeing it in a social media post.
A Book in the Headlines
This book however, is the exception to that. I am quite timely in reading The House of My Mother: A Daughter’s Quest For Freedom by Shari Franke. This is most likely due to the fact that this story has been all over the news. It has been hard to ignore and…yikes. This book is a doozy.
A Book as a Vessel For an Author’s Voice
It is well written, but I think more important than the writing style is the fact that it is written in Shari Franke’s own voice- something that she was not allowed to have for a long time.
The world would be a much better place if young women could share their stories openly. There are so many reasons why they can’t- oppressive systems, not being taken seriously, potential loss of community or financial resources, conditioning, and backlash from perpetrators, to name a few. So I absolutely love it when they do get the opportunity to share their stories.
Unfortunately Relatable Content
There are many things that I don’t have in common with Shari Franke. I am not Mormon, I didn’t grow up on YouTube, my mother is not in prison. However, this book also made me think about the toxic systems that I have been in- family, church, my community, the online world. These issues affect us all in some way. The culmination of these issues probably influence a significant amount of each person’s well-being. These are all really big issues. Too big for each of us to reasonably comprehend or tackle on our own.
For me, these often lacked authenticity. It is also interesting how similar toxic systems can be overall, despite surface level differences. When the systems are sick, the person will likely get sick.
Slowly Learning to Question the Toxicity in My Own Life
I got sick in my own life. I got very sick. I am getting better now, but my improvement also began with questioning how I got sick in the first place.
This questioning was very slow at first, even unconscious. It was also undertaken from a place of unease. I didn’t want to question the world around me because that would mean admitting some uncomfortable truths.
Now, I feel like I can be more unflinching in this questioning.
One way I can tell my fortitude has grown is in the type of books I will choose for this challenge.
About a year ago, my sister suggested to me the book Recovery from Narcissistic Abuse, Gaslighting, Codependency: Guide to Overcome Trauma, Toxic Relationships & Anxiety for Women by Emily C. Walker. It is a very short book. The Kindle version is only 71 pages… and I struggled immensely to get through it. I could only read about 5 minutes of it at a time before I would feel physically dizzy and have to lay down.
I started to see the circumstances of my life more clearly and was uncomfortable with what I was seeing.
Fast forward to today, and I really enjoy reading books about questioning the relationships and structures of the world around me. Such great progress!
I will likely read many of those types of books for this Reading Challenge. For me, books like Shari Franke’s are a disheartening but also strangely encouraging step toward understanding.
Speaking truth is also contagious, and so I hope to grow my own courage through reading more books like this, even though their contents are completely devastating.
There is incredible value in these stories being told- both to ourselves and to others.
Messy Bun Book Lover
(Originally posted on Mar. 7, 2025)
The House of My Mother by Shari Franke is available here.
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