Tag: gaslighting
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Abuse Tactics: Blame Shifting
Wiping the Slate Clean One way that abusers can get away with their abuse for so long is by blame shifting: pinning all of their bad behavior on someone else. No matter how awful they are, they will preserve their image (to themselves and others) if they manage to put the blame on someone else. It… Read more
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Abuse Tactics: Transactions Used as Justification
“They Took the Money, Didn’t They?” People who are harmed sexually will often face scepticism about the severity of the abuse if any sort of transaction occurred. If they got paid, were gifted a trip or a handbag, or even if they had an orgasm, these can be interpreted as evidence that the incident was “mutually beneficial”, and therefore… Read more
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Abuse Tactics: The Role of Community
Abuse Rarely Happens in Isolation Abuse is often thought of as something that happens between two people: an abuser and a victim. However, this dynamic rarely exists in isolation. Those around them can influence whether the abuse thrives or comes to an end. A supportive community can help someone recognize what is happening, believe their… Read more
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Abuse Tactics: Altered Reality
Wearing Away Their Reality All of the following abuse tactics are ways that perpetrators hide the reality of their abuse in order to reduce pushback to it. Once someone’s sense of reality is destabilized, they won’t fight back or hold the abuser accountable because they no longer trust their own perspective. Similarly, this veil can… Read more
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You Are Allowed to Leave: 60+ Valid Relationship Deal Breakers
What are “Valid” Deal Breakers? Many people stay in unhealthy relationships because they are not sure if what happened was “bad enough” to justify leaving. And when these toxic behaviours are repeated, they become “normal”, which makes you even less likely to question them. So, I want to list some valid deal breakers. This isn’t… Read more