with Over 150 Posts
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Abuse Tactics: Blame Shifting
Wiping the Slate Clean One way that abusers can get away with their abuse for so long is by blame shifting: pinning all of their bad behavior on someone…
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Abuse Tactics: Transactions Used as Justification
“They Took the Money, Didn’t They?” People who are harmed sexually will often face scepticism about the severity of the abuse if any sort of transaction occurred. If they got…
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Abuse Tactics: The Role of Community
Abuse Rarely Happens in Isolation Abuse is often thought of as something that happens between two people: an abuser and a victim. However, this dynamic rarely exists in…
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Abuse Tactics: Altered Reality
Wearing Away Their Reality All of the following abuse tactics are ways that perpetrators hide the reality of their abuse in order to reduce pushback to it. Once…
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Abuse Tactics: Kindness Disguising Abuse
The Villain Acts Like a Hero Abusers rarely present themselves as villains. If cruelty looked outwardly cruel, fewer people would fall for it. Usually, they will cloak their…
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Abuse Tactics: Use of Power Imbalance
A power imbalance isn’t inherently toxic. It only becomes so when it is exploited or when it is intentionally engineered for the purposes of exploitation. Financial & Emotional…
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Abuse Tactics: The Use of Force
Force as Action The use of physical force is one of the most recognizable forms of abuse, although it can still go unacknowledged because it often escalates over…
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Common Abuse Tactics: Based on Virginia Roberts Giuffre’s Memoir
A New Miniseries Over the next several weeks, I will be posting articles in a miniseries exploring common abuse tactics. These include: All of the posts will use…
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The Helpline Attendant
I knew a man who worked as a helpline attendant. The line is open 24/7 for people who are in crisis to call and talk to someone. I…
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Smiling When I Am Scared
Jovial(?) Roadside Chaos Today, I was walking along a sidewalk with my headphones in. It was the perfect day to spend outdoors, sunny and warm. To my left…
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Weather is No Longer a Boring Topic
Party Conversations When I was younger, it was sort of a joke that when you didn’t know what to say, you would talk about the weather. It was…
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Why Women Get Turned On When Their Partner Does the Dishes
Confusing Female Reactions I watched a man as he blustered about his partner: “She feels more romantic towards me when I do the dishes, than when I kiss…
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The Lingering Feeling of Virtual Worlds
A Brave New World of Images Recently, I did a virtual reality experience about the Titanic. It included: Perhaps you know me by now, but I approach these things…
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The Price of Seeking Help: When Mental Health Records Become Liabilities
At the Doctor’s Office I had a doctor’s appointment today to fill out some occupational health forms for a new job. They checked my ears, eyes, lungs, weight,…
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THEIR Death is the Only Boundary That They Won’t Cross
A Depressing Clarification is Needed A few months ago, I published a post called Death is the Only Boundary That They Won’t Cross. It discussed how death is the…
