with Over 200 Posts
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He Never Touched Me, But I Was Still Harmed
Virginia’s Experience In Virginia Roberts Giuffre’s memoir, she talks about trying to reconcile with her father- a man who had abused her for years, starting when she was…
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Academics & Sexual Abuse
At one point in her memoir, Virginia Roberts Giuffre details being on Epstein’s island and being directed to give a sexual massage to a professor whom she had…
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The Dissolution of Life’s Strongest Boundary
The Previously Stark Boundary of Death Was a Blessing to Some Predators like to push boundaries, and death is one boundary that they cannot overcome… so far. It…
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Abuse Tactics: Generations of Victims
Decades of Unnecessary Victims Harm has a way of repeating if there is no intervention. This can happen in several ways: Time moves on, but patterns often repeat,…
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Abuse Tactics: Blame Shifting
Wiping the Slate Clean One way that abusers can get away with their abuse for so long is by blame shifting: pinning all of their bad behavior on someone…
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Abuse Tactics: Transactions Used as Justification
“They Took the Money, Didn’t They?” People who are harmed sexually will often face scepticism about the severity of the abuse if any sort of transaction occurred. If they got…
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Abuse Tactics: The Role of Community
Abuse Rarely Happens in Isolation Abuse is often thought of as something that happens between two people: an abuser and a victim. However, this dynamic rarely exists in…
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Abuse Tactics: Altered Reality
Wearing Away Their Reality All of the following abuse tactics are ways that perpetrators hide the reality of their abuse in order to reduce pushback to it. Once…
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Abuse Tactics: Kindness Disguising Abuse
The Villain Acts Like a Hero Abusers rarely present themselves as villains. If cruelty looked outwardly cruel, fewer people would fall for it. Usually, they will cloak their…
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Abuse Tactics: Use of Power Imbalance
A power imbalance isn’t inherently toxic. It only becomes so when it is exploited or when it is intentionally engineered for the purposes of exploitation. Financial & Emotional…
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Abuse Tactics: The Use of Force
Force as Action The use of physical force is one of the most recognizable forms of abuse, although it can still go unacknowledged because it often escalates over…
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Common Abuse Tactics: Based on Virginia Roberts Giuffre’s Memoir
A New Miniseries Over the next several weeks, I will be posting articles in a miniseries exploring common abuse tactics. These include: All of the posts will use…
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The Helpline Attendant
I knew a man who worked as a helpline attendant. The line is open 24/7 for people who are in crisis to call and talk to someone. I…
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Smiling When I Am Scared
Jovial(?) Roadside Chaos Today, I was walking along a sidewalk with my headphones in. It was the perfect day to spend outdoors, sunny and warm. To my left…
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Weather is No Longer a Boring Topic
Party Conversations When I was younger, it was sort of a joke that when you didn’t know what to say, you would talk about the weather. It was…
